The Vampire Blog Read Free

organized the biggest jelly fight you’ve ever seen.’ He grinned. ‘But I haven’t forgotten it’s your birthday and I have for you … a world-class card.’
    I opened up the envelope. ‘Hey, you made it yourself.’
    â€˜I spent several seconds on it too – and look at the bold way I wrote: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARCUS. There’s even a little picture of a cake.’
    â€˜You spoil me.’
    â€˜So did anything exciting occur on your birthday?’ asked Joel.
    Sitting here in Joel’s room, all that seemed far away now. I was right back in the normal world again. I showed him my iPod Touch, then I asked, ‘Joel, would you say my parents are weird?’
    â€˜Oh yeah, but then all parents are.’
    â€˜But are mine especially weird?’
    â€˜Yeah, probably, but in a good way. I mean, your mum is nothing like mine. She’s so laid back for a start, and she just drifts about the house in a dream. Not hot on the old housework either, is she?’
    This was true. Our house was full of arty pictures and books, but it was sort of messy too. I knew Mum hated disturbing cobwebs. And she wasn’t the least bit scared of spiders either – in fact she treated them like little pets.
    I suddenly pictured Mum with her long,dark hair and all those jingly earrings she always wore. Yes, you could sort of imagine her slinking about in a horror film. But not Dad: a smallish man with a wispy beard and with an eager, helpful smile on his face and a trace of a Brummie accent. But he does have a study full of gory tales – shelves and shelves of them, in fact. Still, that doesn’t prove anything. After all, he runs a bookshop. So why shouldn’t he collect horror books?
    â€˜You’re looking very thoughtful,’ said Joel, ‘or have you just got wind?’
    9.50 p.m.
    When I got back, my parents were waiting at the door for me.
    â€˜Ah, here he is,’ said Dad, all smiley.
    â€˜Yeah, it’s me. Not that I’m quite sure who I am right now – or who you are, come to that.’
    â€˜We’ve got something to show you,’ said Dad. And when we went and sat down in the kitchen he handed me a little silver box. ‘Maybe you’ve seen that in my study,’ he said.
    And I had, far away on a high shelf. I’d even vaguely wondered what was inside it.
    â€˜You can open it up,’ said Dad.
    I did, and inside was one small white fang. ‘And this is yours?’ I said.
    â€˜That’s right,’ said Dad proudly.
    And seeing it and the look on Dad’s face suddenly made everything they’d said seem horribly real.
    â€˜So this dangles off your mouth for a day,’ I said, ‘and then it just slips off ?’
    â€˜That’s right,’ said Dad. ‘You usually find it on your pillow the next morning. You get a bit of money for it too, as it’s a sign your transformation into a half-vampire is underway. And when you’ve changed over, a second fang will appear – a yellow one.’
    I nodded, slowly taking all this in. ‘And you had fangs too, Mum?’
    â€˜Yes I did,’ she said, ‘but unfortunately I lost my white one. I really regret that now. I’ll make sure we keep both your fangs safe.’ Then Mum asked, all anxiously, ‘So how do you feel about it all now?
    â€˜Me?’ I grinned. ‘I think it’s all fangtastic .’
    I’m such a liar sometimes.

CHAPTER TWO
    Monday 1 October
8.30 a.m.
    Bit of a weird atmosphere at breakfast. So to cheer things up I burst out, ‘I expect you two would rather pour blood on your cereals than milk.’
    Mum and Dad both looked very shockEd. ‘We never speak of such matters in the daytime,’ hissed Mum.
    â€˜Not another word until nightfall,’ said Dad firmly. ‘And then only when we’re alone.’
    9.05 a.m.
    There’s a girl in my class called Tallulah. You can’t