The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women Read Free Page A

intercourse includes some sort of anal play. Is it normal to like anal sex as much or better than vaginal sex? Am I an anal addict?
     
    A: And what a great birthday present you gave your husband! To answer your question simply and directly, there is really no such thing as “normal.” Mainstream culture and media would have us believe that heterosexual cock-in-pussy intercourse is the most common activity and therefore normal, but we all know that is bull. The truth is that we like what we like. Whether it’s the smack of a riding crop on your butt, an enthusiastic toe-sucking, or anal play, if it turns you and your partner on, then go for it! For some women, anal penetration may feel as good as or better than vaginal penetration; lots of people tell me that anal play produces more intense orgasms. Plus, adding clitoral stimulation to backdoor banging or creating an angle for indirect G-spot stimulation can all help increase the pleasure of anal penetration. It sounds like you really enjoy anal sex with your husband; ignore those voices in your head which may be calling you deviant or weird, and just keep doing what you’re doing.

Myth #4: Anal sex is dirty and messy.
    TRUTH: In general, Americans have an obsession with hygiene and cleanliness, so this myth plays into our fears of being dirty. We imagine our asses to be a lot filthier than they actually are. Feces are stored in the colon and pass through the rectum and out the anus during a bowel movement. If you’re a healthy person with regular bowel movements, than only a small amount of fecal matter will be present in the anal canal and rectum. As long as you practice standard hygiene, anal sex is no more messy than any other kind of sex. If you have a bowel movement and take a shower or bath before sex to clean the anal area, no other extraordinary measures are needed. Some people like to have an enema before anal sex, but that is not necessary.

Myth #5: Only gay men have anal sex.
    TRUTH: People of all genders and sexual orientations have anal sex. While it’s true that many gay men do have anal sex, the actual statistics reveal a much smaller percentage than is widely believed: 50-60 percent have tried it and fewer than 30 percent have it regularly. Fellatio is a much more common practice among gay men. 1 The idea that all gay men and only gay men have anal sex—one that the Religious Right would like us to believe—is simply not supported. Furthermore, there is no evidence that any single group defined by sexual orientation has a great deal more anal sex than any other group. In fact, depending on which survey you cite, from 20 to 45 percent of women have anal sex. 2

Myth #6: Straight men who like anal sex are really gay.
    TRUTH: Men who like anal sex (whether they are on the giving or receiving end) like it because it feels good. Their desire for buttfucking has nothing to do with their sexual orientation, and this myth is fueled by homophobia. Heterosexual men who like anal sex are not repressing homosexual desires or tendencies. Their desire for a particular sexual activity does not rely on or “cancel out” their sexual preference in a partner. According to research, more gay men regularly practice fellatio than anal sex, and as my friend Audrey says, “How come no one ever asks: If a straight guy likes blow jobs, does that mean he’s really gay?”

    ASK THE ANAL ADVISOR: AM I Gay?
    Q: I’m a guy, I like women, and I’ve never been attracted in any way to men. I want to try anal sex (with me on the receiving end) with dildos and even a strap-on. Does this mean I am gay?
     
    A: The idea that men who like getting it up the butt are gay is absolutely a myth, one fueled by our society’s homophobia and misconceptions about anal pleasure. Plenty of heterosexual men enjoy receiving anal pleasure, whether with tongues, fingers, or toys. As I’ve said before, anal sex can be an incredibly powerful experience, but it’s not powerful enough to change