Something incredible.
U:
In the middle of the game! Alright, whatâs your big thought?
L:
Imagine how rich we could be today if for one month, one month only, a mere thirty days, we would have saved one penny the first day and then doubled the amount every day after that.
U:
How rich would we be?
L:
Multimultimillionaires, you idiot. Didnât you see how fast these numbers add up?
U:
Hey youâre right. We would have millions and millions of pennies. How many dollars are there in 3435977632 pennies?
L:
Thatâs easy. 34 million 359 thousand 7 hundred and 76 dollars and 32 cents.
U:
Wow!
L:
Isnât that incredible?
U:
Hey, Laut, I have a idea. Why donât we start saving right now? I give you a penny today, and tomorrow youâll give me two, and the day after tomorow Iâll give you four, and by the end of the month weâll be multimulâ¦
Ladies and gentlemen the captain has turned on the safety belt sign in preparation for our landing â¦
BOCCACCIO
The Old Bums, as you know, share a shadow. And so, when the sun is out, they take turns wearing it -- what are friends for? This fact doesnât seem to have much to do with the great wop storyteller, but you just wait.
The Old Bum on your left is telling the Old Bum on your right a B tale which the right Bum is receiving with growing resistance, if not outright incredulity.
No shit, mon cher, Leftie continues, the guys switched wives, the girls couldnât tell the difference.
I find this hard to believe, responds Rightie, I think you are preparing me to suggest that we switch wives, that is the real burden of your tale.
Alors, ça non, replies Leftie, on the banks of the very Seine whereupon I was born, I swear that I do not lie!
You liar! shouts R, heating up. You want to lie with my delicious young wife, whose breasts even braless retain the vibrant shape of youth and passion, whose Segovia guitar hips rival the hips of â¦
Forgive me for interrupting you, île de rêve, but you mean lay not lie .
See what I mean! This proves it! You want my wife!
This little exchange does prove indeed that words and deeds do not always coincide.
IN THE HOSPITAL
As it inevitably happens to old farts, one day one of the two friends fell ill. As he lay on his hospital bed dozing, the other friend came to visit. Since Old Fart One seemed asleep, and Two didnât want to disturb him, he quietly sat by his bed in a chair, and soon fell himself into deep sleep.
This is what Fart Two told himself in his dream: Weâve been through strange and wondrous things together. Unwittingly you and I sipped our fill of joy and bitter woe from the cup of life. And now that itâs almost empty, one might be tempted to believe all that was only a test, and that now fortified with the wisdom of experience, we stand before the real beginning. This is the real beginning, and though we do not wish the return of past delusion, we are happy to have lived it as it was. And so I now feel confident that whatever ill attacked our old friend, he will soon be doing better than before.
While the voice inside sleeping Fart Two continued to rant, Fart One regained consciousness, and seeing his friend asleep in the armchair, quietly snoring, his face twisted into a painful grimace, he reached out and shook him, Why donât you get in bed with me, you Old Fart, you donât look well at all.
THE SEX NURSE
You donât have to be a sick man to experience the fantasy of the Sex Nurse. Every man in trouble imagines that a woman much like his mother or his mistress is coming momentarily through the door to slip under the sheets with him and restore his pricky manliness.
Our friends are no exception.
One in the chair and Two in the bed, theyâve been holding hands, snoozing, dreaming of her, all in holy white. So, when she does appear, carrying, like a waitress, a tray of tiny fluted paper cups of pills, Sex Nurse Herself, pausing by the bed,
U:
In the middle of the game! Alright, whatâs your big thought?
L:
Imagine how rich we could be today if for one month, one month only, a mere thirty days, we would have saved one penny the first day and then doubled the amount every day after that.
U:
How rich would we be?
L:
Multimultimillionaires, you idiot. Didnât you see how fast these numbers add up?
U:
Hey youâre right. We would have millions and millions of pennies. How many dollars are there in 3435977632 pennies?
L:
Thatâs easy. 34 million 359 thousand 7 hundred and 76 dollars and 32 cents.
U:
Wow!
L:
Isnât that incredible?
U:
Hey, Laut, I have a idea. Why donât we start saving right now? I give you a penny today, and tomorrow youâll give me two, and the day after tomorow Iâll give you four, and by the end of the month weâll be multimulâ¦
Ladies and gentlemen the captain has turned on the safety belt sign in preparation for our landing â¦
BOCCACCIO
The Old Bums, as you know, share a shadow. And so, when the sun is out, they take turns wearing it -- what are friends for? This fact doesnât seem to have much to do with the great wop storyteller, but you just wait.
The Old Bum on your left is telling the Old Bum on your right a B tale which the right Bum is receiving with growing resistance, if not outright incredulity.
No shit, mon cher, Leftie continues, the guys switched wives, the girls couldnât tell the difference.
I find this hard to believe, responds Rightie, I think you are preparing me to suggest that we switch wives, that is the real burden of your tale.
Alors, ça non, replies Leftie, on the banks of the very Seine whereupon I was born, I swear that I do not lie!
You liar! shouts R, heating up. You want to lie with my delicious young wife, whose breasts even braless retain the vibrant shape of youth and passion, whose Segovia guitar hips rival the hips of â¦
Forgive me for interrupting you, île de rêve, but you mean lay not lie .
See what I mean! This proves it! You want my wife!
This little exchange does prove indeed that words and deeds do not always coincide.
IN THE HOSPITAL
As it inevitably happens to old farts, one day one of the two friends fell ill. As he lay on his hospital bed dozing, the other friend came to visit. Since Old Fart One seemed asleep, and Two didnât want to disturb him, he quietly sat by his bed in a chair, and soon fell himself into deep sleep.
This is what Fart Two told himself in his dream: Weâve been through strange and wondrous things together. Unwittingly you and I sipped our fill of joy and bitter woe from the cup of life. And now that itâs almost empty, one might be tempted to believe all that was only a test, and that now fortified with the wisdom of experience, we stand before the real beginning. This is the real beginning, and though we do not wish the return of past delusion, we are happy to have lived it as it was. And so I now feel confident that whatever ill attacked our old friend, he will soon be doing better than before.
While the voice inside sleeping Fart Two continued to rant, Fart One regained consciousness, and seeing his friend asleep in the armchair, quietly snoring, his face twisted into a painful grimace, he reached out and shook him, Why donât you get in bed with me, you Old Fart, you donât look well at all.
THE SEX NURSE
You donât have to be a sick man to experience the fantasy of the Sex Nurse. Every man in trouble imagines that a woman much like his mother or his mistress is coming momentarily through the door to slip under the sheets with him and restore his pricky manliness.
Our friends are no exception.
One in the chair and Two in the bed, theyâve been holding hands, snoozing, dreaming of her, all in holy white. So, when she does appear, carrying, like a waitress, a tray of tiny fluted paper cups of pills, Sex Nurse Herself, pausing by the bed,
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