The Teacher from Heck Read Free Page B

“You know I can build anything. Here, Big B—check this out. This can be our secret weapon.”
    He walked to the bed and woke up Gassy, my big bulldog. He tugged Gassy to his feet.
    â€œBilly, that’s my dog,” I said. “How can he help us beat Nyce House?”
    â€œSqueeze him,” Billy said. He pushed me over to the dog. “Go ahead. Squeeze him.”
    â€œAre you NUTS?” Crench cried. “Don’t squeeze him. The dog STINKS!”
    â€œHow do you think he got the name Gassy ?” I said.
    Billy tugged me over to the fat bulldog. “Go ahead. Squeeze his stomach.”
    â€œOkay, okay,” I said. I reached down and wrapped my hands around my sweet dog’s middle. I gave him a hard squeeze— and water shot out of his butt!
    â€œI turned him into a squirt gun,” Billy said. “The Nyce House dudes will never expect it! You’ll take ’em totally by surprise.”
    I squeezed Gassy again. Another stream of water shot across the room.
    â€œDude, that’s pretty clever,” I said. “I like it. But…you’re too late.”
    The guys all stared at me. “Too late?” Belzer asked.
    I nodded. “Sherman is on his way over here,” I said. “He agreed to the truce. I told him Nyce House won.”
    â€œBut, Bernie—” Feenman cried. “The war was just beginning. It’s too early to surrender.”

    â€œShh.” I raised a finger to my lips. “I hear footsteps. Coming up the stairs.”
    We hurried out to the hall and listened for a few seconds.
    â€œIt’s Sherman,” I whispered, peering down the stairs.
    â€œBernie—don’t give up the fight,” Feenman whispered.
    â€œWe can beat them,” Crench said.
    â€œSssshhhh!” I hushed them again. I could hear Sherman stop to take a breath on the second floor. Now he was starting up the stairs again.
    Closer…one more step…then one more…I counted silently to myself. I waited until he made it to the eighth step. Then I reached up and grabbed the heavy rope I’d stretched along the ceiling.
    I gave it a hard tug.

    I’d timed it perfectly. The giant water balloon perched over the eighth step crashed down on Sherman’s head.
    I heard a startled scream. The splash of cold water.
    He hit the floor. I heard, “Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle.”

    I cried, jumping up and down. “Yesss! A direct hit! Bull’s-eye!”
    My buddies jumped to their feet, cheering, clapping, and laughing their heads off.

    Belzer cried. “Bernie B. is still king !”
    We all touched knuckles. Then we did the secret Rotten House Handshake.
    I heard the gurgling sound again. I turned and gazed down the stairwell.
    â€œUh-oh—!”
    I gasped in horror. Then I gasped again.
    â€œNooooo!” I wailed. “It can’t be! It can’t be!”
    My buddies turned and stared. They saw what I saw.
    It wasn’t Sherman on the stairs. It was Mrs. Heinie !
    Mrs. Heinie on her knees, slipping and sliding on the wet stairs, soaked from head to foot. Mrs. Heinie, swept down the stairs by the water bomb. She stared up at us. Stared up at us and shook her fist.
    â€œUh-oh,” Feenman muttered. “Think we’re in trouble now?”
    I let out a long, sad sigh. “Are we in trouble? Does a goose lay eggs in the woods?”

Chapter 8
“G OOD-BYE F OREVER !”
    Mrs. Heinie roared up the stairs. She stood over us, dripping water. Her sopping wet hair drooped over her eyes. Water ran down her face. She shook both fists at us.
    â€œYou—you—you—” She made sputtering sounds.
    Finally she brushed her hair back. Mopped her face with one hand. Straightened her drenched housedress.
    Then she went berserk-o.
    â€œI QUIT!” she screamed. “I—I can’t TAKE it anymore!” She shook both fists in the air. She startedpounding the wall with