love peanut-butter pie. Some nights I dream about it.
âWipe your chin, Bernie,â April-May said. The nicest thing she ever said to me. She DOES care!
I wiped the drool off my chin with both hands.
âDo you think you could sneak out one of those pies for me?â I asked. âAs a special favor?â
She sneered. âBernie,â she said, âIâd rather stick my fingers up my nose for a whole day.â
âDoes that mean youâll do it?â I asked.
April-May didnât have a chance to answer.
Thatâs when Sherman burst into the Dining Hall. He raised a huge, new weapon. It looked like a giant slingshot. Anenormous, blue balloon bounced on top of it.
âStand back, everyone!â Sherman boomed. âItâs gonna BLOW!â
âHey, Shermanâlooking good, dude! Youâre wearing your pants today!â Crench shouted.
Kids hooted with laughter.
You canât expect to stand totally naked on the Great Lawn and not get major laughs and hoots.
But the laughing stopped when Sherman raised the big slingshot.
âStand back, everyone!â he shouted again. âThis is no joke. Itâs rocket-powered!â
âYour butt is rocket-powered!â Feenman shouted. âThanks for showing it to us yesterday!â
This time kids didnât laugh. A hush fell over the room. Everyone was staring at Shermanâs rocket-powered slingshot.
âItâs a water-balloon launcher,â Sherman said. He struggled to hold it up in both hands. âMy parents sent it to me because they want to buy my love. It cost two thousand dollars. Itâs rocket-powered. It uses NASA technology. And it can send a water balloon into space !â
A few kids gasped.
âSherman, why donât you go up into space and try it out?â Feenman shouted. âYou could be the first naked astronaut!â
âIâm gonna try it out right here!â Sherman shouted.
He raised the big slingshot. He pointed it at my table.
I heard a
And thenâ¦
The giant blue water balloon shot across the room, spinning as it flew. It hit our tableâand exploded!
âYAAAAIIIIIEEE!â I let out a horrified cry as a wave of water swept over us. My spaghetti bowl flew up into my face. Cold water gushed over me and splashed over the table.
When I finally pulled the spaghetti off my face, I saw Feenman and Crench frantically doing the breaststroke on the tabletop.
I spit out a mouthful of water and turned to the front of the room. My friends and I were soaked.
April-May stood a few feet away with Sherman and Wes Updood. They had their heads tossed back, and they were laughingâ¦laughing their guts out.
I grabbed Feenman and Crench and dragged them to dry land. Then I raised both hands in surrender.
âTruce!â I shouted. âTruce!â
Crench grabbed me by my soaked school blazer. âHuh? Bernie? Whatâs up with that? Are you really giving up?â
âYou never give up!â Feenman cried. âNever!â
I brushed them both away. âTruce!â I shouted to Sherman. I kept my hands up high. âItâs over. You win, Sherman. You win!â
Chapter 7
A S ECRET W EAPON
I know. I know. This is supposed to be the story of how we got stuck with Mr. Skruloose, The Teacher from Heck. Well, Iâm getting to it.
Just stick with me. Iâm up to the good part of the story. I mean, the bad part. This is the part of the story where it all turned to horror .
We were in Rotten House. Everyone was gathered in my room on the third floor. Thatâs because Iâm the only kid in the dorm who has his own room.
I canât share. It makes me nervous. Besides, I need plenty of room to plot and scheme.
âBernie, why did you call a truce? We canât quit,â Feenman said. âWe canât give up so easily.â
âWe can build our own rocket-powered water balloon launcher,â Billy the Brain said.