The Story of Her Holding an Orange Read Free

the last thing in the world I wanted was to deal with a crazy child-mimicking lady offering me a fucking orange.
    Four months after the last living room incident, my brother’s birthday came up. Every year, he’d organize a huge party at our house. We were good, trustworthy kids, so our parents would go away for the night, and my brother and I would celebrate it with his friends and no adults. The party started off really promising; there were about fifty people at our house and it wasn’t even 10pm. We were all having so much fun; the music was good, the food and drinks were plentiful, and the atmosphere was absolutely amazing. Until about midnight, when the doorbell rang.
    When I saw her standing at the front door, I nearly dropped my drink. Luckily, she hadn’t noticed me yet in the crowd. I ran to my brother.
    “Mijo!” I hissed, grabbing his arm, “Mijo, what the fuck is Rose doing here?”
    “What are you talking about?” he asked, looking as surprised as I was. Then he looked over to the door and saw her. “Oh, for fuck’s sake. Did Mom and Dad have her come to spy on us?” 
    “I don’t think so… man, go tell her to fuck off. Please.”
    My brother could see how unsettled I was. It was then that he probably realized I was telling the truth this whole time.
    “Hold on, are you serious? She actually did stalk you?” Mijo asked, looking intrigued.
    “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you people! That woman is batshit crazy, man.”
    Mijo winked at me. “I got you,” he said and walked over to the door. Rose was just standing there, smiling and scoping the crowd. I watched them talking for a good five minutes, wondering why the conversation was taking so long. Then my brother moved to the side, letting Rose into the house. He came over to me, carrying a box.
    “What the fuck are you doing, why’d you let her in?” I nearly yelled at him.
    “Look, she said she was nearby and heard it was my birthday, so she brought me a gift, see?” Mijo said, opening the box he got from Rose. It was an mp3 player. “And, it’s exactly the one I wanted!”
    “Dude,” I said while battling the temptation to knock the gift out of his hands, “did you forget what I just told you? She is fucking crazy; she’s here for me.”
    “Look, I don’t know what is going on between you two, but I can’t kick Mom’s friend out of our house when she brought me a gift. You work it out with her. Besides, there are like 75 people here. You’re safe.” Mijo walked away into the crowd, and I stood there, surrounded by people, feeling lonelier than ever.
    I spent most of the party sitting in the corner, looking out for Rose. I saw her here and there, like when she went to get a drink or when she talked to some of my brother’s friends. I suppose she quickly became the highlight of the party, and I could see why; she was a hot, mature lady who hung out with young people. Guys were all over her, and girls loved her. I fucking hated it. It was killing me that I was alone in my own house full of friends. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I walked outside. Sitting in the dark in my front yard, I half expected her to pop outside into the blackness and offer me an orange. Who knows, maybe I even wanted her to do it. That way, I could draw other people’s attention and then all 75 people could see how disturbed this woman was. 
    Fortunately or unfortunately, depending how you look at it, she didn’t come. The party started winding down around 3am, and by 3:30, most people were gone. When I walked back into the house, the final group, including Rose, was getting ready to leave.
    “Milos, I haven’t seen much of you tonight,” Rose said while putting her coat on. “Is everything ok with you?”
    I didn’t answer. I just stood there, looking her straight in the eyes, almost as if I wanted to send her a message saying, “Fuck you, bitch, you’re not intimidating me.”
    “Um, he’s been acting strange all night,