The Steampunk Trilogy Read Free

sceptered isle has ever known.”
    “I fail to see—”
    “Wait. There is more. I have steadily increased the Queen’s work schedule, to the point where her day is taken up with reading dispatches and listening to her ministers. I thought she was bearing up admirably. However, I now fear I might have taken things too fast. The Duchess and Conroy have been bedeviling her lately with picayune demands. In addition, she has been nervous about her Coronation, scheduled for next month. Lately in bed together she has been complaining about feeling poorly and faint, miserable and nauseous. I’m afraid I brushed off these sentiments as idle vaporing.”
    “Surely you could let up a little on the poor girl. . . .”
    Melbourne passed a hand across his brow. “I fear it’s too late for that.
    “The Queen, you see, has just this day fled the throne.”
    Cowperthwait could scarcely give credence to his ears. “Impossible. Are you sure she has not been kidnapped, or injured while riding? A search party must be mounted—”
    “No, it’s useless. She’s not lying senseless on some bridle trail somewhere, she’s gone to ground like the cunning vixen she is. Certain personal items are missing, including her diary. To rouse a general search would only insure that her abdication became public knowledge in a few hours. And with political matters as they stand, Britain cannot afford even temporarily to be without a sovereign. Schleswig-Holstein, the Landgravine of Mecklenburg-Strelitz, the Spanish Succession—No, it’s impossible that we advertise the disappearance. There are members of the nobility who would like nothing better than such a scandal. I am thinking particularly of Lord Chuting-Payne. And besides, I don’t want Victoria to lose the throne. I have a conviction about that girl. I think she’s going to make a splendid monarch. This adolescent impetuousness should not be held against her.”
    “Oh, I agree,” said Cowperthwait heartily. “But why come to me? How can I help.”
    “I am asking you to contribute the services of your Victoria. I want her as a stand-in for the Queen, until the real Victoria can be found.”
    “That’s ludicrous,” expostulated Cowperthwait. “A newt sitting on the throne of England? Oh, I concede that with a wig, she might deceive from a distance. But up close—never! Why not just bring in another human woman, perhaps of low degree, who would impersonate the Queen and keep silent for a fee?”
    “And run the risk of future blackmail, or perhaps of capricious misuse by the actress of her assumed position? No thank you, Cosmo. And despite what people say of me in connection with the Tolpuddle Martyrs, I am unwilling to have such a woman later assassinated to preserve the secret. No, I need a mannequin, someone utterly pliable. Only your Victoria fits the bill. Loan her to me, and I’ll handle the rest.”
    “It’s all so strange. . . . What can I say?”
    “Simply say, ‘yes,’ and the nation and I will be forever in your debt.”
    “Well, if you put it that way—”
    Melbourne shot to his feet. “Wonderful. You have no idea how relieved I am. Why, perhaps my Victoria, weary of playing commoner, might even now be on her way back to Buckingham Palace. But in the meantime, let us go secure your Victoria from her bed at de Mallet’s. You understand that you’ll have to fetch her, for I cannot be seen bringing her away.”
    “Oh, of course. . . .”
    Only when they were in the shuttered landau driven by McGroaty, rattling across the nighted town, with the womanly newt Victoria seated damply between them, a veil demurely drawn across her elongated features, did Cowperthwait think to tell Melbourne about the peculiar diet of his charge.
    “Flies?” said the Prime Minister dubiously.
    “Fresh,” said Cowperthwait.
    “I assume the stables—”
    “I can see, sir,” complimented Cowperthwait, “how you became Prime Minister.”

2
    A TRAIN STRAIGHT TO CHINA
    T HE