The Other Side of Dark Read Free Page A

the open doorway.
    She looks at me as though she were afraid of me, and for a moment I don’t know who she is.
    “Stacy,” she says, still in the doorway, “I’m Jan. Can I come in?”
    “Jan?” I know I’m sitting there with my mouth open, but it’s hard to believe that this tall auburn-haired girl in the pink, tailored shirt and tight jeans and makeup that looks like a cosmetic ad is my friend Jan Briley.
    Her knees seem a little stiff—or maybe it’s the jeans. She shoves a small package toward me, backs off, and perches on the edge of the armchair across from the bed. “It’s not much,” she says. “Just some lipstick and eye shadow and mascara and stuff I thought you’d need.”
    “Thanks.” This isn’t Jan. It can’t be Jan. I shiver and push the breakfast tray away.
    “You look—you look good, Stacy. How do you feel?”
    “Okay.”
    “You’ll feel lots better when your makeup’s on and you’ve done something with your hair. Do you have hot rollers?” She looks embarrassed. Her fingers are white from gripping the arms of the chair. “Of course you wouldn’t have them here. I should have brought mine, I guess.”
    “It’s okay.” I look at her hair closely. “You never used to wear your hair like that. You used to wad it up in those big brown barrettes to keep it out of your eyes when we played baseball. Do you still play on the team?”
    “Team? Oh, no.” She gives a funny little laugh and says, “There’s a mirror in the package. Why not get it out?”
    “What for?”
    “So you can put on your makeup.”
    “Mom lets me—let me wear lipstick, but I don’t know what to do with the eye stuff.”
    “Oh. I didn’t think about that. I just take makeup for granted, like brushing my teeth or wearing shoes.”
    “How long have you worn real makeup?”
    “Well gosh, Stacy, for ages. After all, I’m seventeen.” She pauses. “And so are you.”
    I shake my head. “I’ve got to get used to that. I still feel like I’m thirteen. I feel like everything took place yesterday.”
    “I’m sorry about what happened—all of it. When they took you to the hospital and thought you might die, I wanted to die too. I couldn’t bear to lose you. And then last night your father called me, and I couldn’t believe it. I just sat right down on the floor and cried and cried, I was so glad you were going to be all right again.” Jan leans forward, forearms resting on her knees. “Do you want to talk about it?”
    I can’t help it, but I feel as though she were one of Donna’s friends, not mine. It’s hard to answer. “I haven’t remembered all of it yet.”
    “Oh,” she says, and looks relieved. I don’t knowwhat I expected. Sympathy? Maybe even curiosity. This Jan doesn’t want to know what I could tell her.
    I have no idea what to say to her. I guess, from the way she starts squirming as though the chair had lumps in it, that she feels the same way. This is my best friend, Jan, to whom I told even my secret thoughts, and now I’m blank.
    But I make a desperate stab. “What are things like at school?”
    Jan sits upright, looking thankful, as though she’d just passed a math test she hadn’t studied for. “Oh, same old grind. Suzie—you remember Suzie Lindly—anyhow, poor Suzie got married last week to a guy who is really out of it. I mean totally out. Only everybody knows she had to.”
    “Why did she have to?”
    Jan blinks a couple of times, her mouth open. “Honestly, Stacy. You know. Because she’s pregnant.”
    “Oh.” I feel myself blushing again, and I’m mad at myself for being so dumb, for being a little kid.
    Jan takes a deep breath and picks up speed, like a train making up time after almost getting derailed. “And Bick is quarterback and is the big thing in the sports section of the newspaper each weekend and has a ton of colleges wanting him next year.”
    “Bick—that skinny guy in ninth grade?”
    Jan rolls her eyes. “He’s no longer skinny,