The Orchid Thief Read Free

you to go ahead with being a character?
    SO: A couple of things. I realized that if the book—
my
book—was going to be featured prominently in a movie but the author of the book in the movie was going to be named something other than Susan Orlean it would confuse people and eventually annoy me. I wouldn’t like seeing the authorship of
The Orchid Thief
attributed to, oh, Mary Smith or Jane Brown or some pseudonymous nonperson. Also, all the other people who were incorporated into the script agreed to allow their real names to be used. I decided, finally, that the best wasy to look at the whole circumstance was as an adventure, a big virtual-reality experiment.
    SO: Did you get a lot of money for it?
    SO: That’s not really anybody’s business, is it?
    SO: It’s an honest question. And anyway, everybody wonders about that.
    SO: I don’t think it’s polite to talk about money.
    SO: I don’t think it’s polite to not answer questions.
    [Silence.]
    SO: Shall we continue?
    SO: Please.
    SO: Did you have any particular objections to the script? Did you request any changes?
    SO: There were a few things I asked to have taken out—some details that were a little too personal. But I didn’t ask for any major changes. I gave them comments on what I liked and didn’t like, but only had specific requests about those few details, and they were all taken out.
    SO: Who did you want cast as Susan Orlean?
    SO: I spent about a year pretend-casting the movie. I considered everyone from Julia Roberts to Nicole Kidman to Holly Hunter to Jodie Foster to Cate Blanchett but I never settled on who my dream choice would be. My friends made suggestions, too—usually they thought of actresses with red hair, since I have red hair. Maybe people don’t realize that hair dye is available in Hollywood. Interestingly, no one ever suggested Meryl Streep, probably because she seems larger than life.
    SO: Once she accepted the role, did she meet with you and study you and analyze your gestures and accent?
    SO: No. I never met with her. I spent a few days on the set during the filming and assumed I would at least meet her there, but she wasn’t around. As it happens, I met her once, years ago. I was an extra in the movie
The Deer Hunter
, which was her first film role. I think I said hello to her there.
    SO: Did you guys hang out?
    SO: No, of course not. I was one of hundreds of extras there. All I did was murmur hello to her in passing. In fact, I wouldn’t even say we
met
. I just mean we were in the same place at the same time.
    SO: So you just kind of … hung out together.
    SO:
No
. I just explained to you that we did not hang out together. As a matter of fact, now that I think about it, I believe I murmured to Robert DeNiro, not to Meryl Streep. Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that I don’t know Meryl Streep, I have never talked to Meryl Streep, and I am not Meryl Streep.
    SO: What was it like being on the set of
Adaptation ?
    SO: It was fun and it was also very weird. The first thing I noticed was that the crew was looking askance at me. Finally one of grips walked over to me and asked if I was
really
me, and if I had
really
done all the things being portrayed in the movie. It was an out-of-body experience. I guess the crew had begun to think Meryl Streep was the real Susan Orlean, and I was … I’m not sure who they thought I was. In the movie, I have a walk-on part as an anonymous shopper. Maybe that’s who they thought I was. It was also really exciting to see the whole production, and realize it had all been inspired by my book. That was wonderful.
    SO: What exactly does a “grip” do?
    SO: I have no idea.
    SO: In
Adaptation
, the screenwriter who is trying to adapt
The Orchid Thief
suffers terrible writer’s block. Do you ever have writer’s block? Did you sympathize with him?
    SO: I’m not a fast writer, but so far, fortunately, I haven’t ever had real writer’s block. I get stuck in places, but I never go