The Mystery of Mr. Nice

The Mystery of Mr. Nice Read Free Page B

Book: The Mystery of Mr. Nice Read Free
Author: Bruce Hale
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principal is a man of big appetites.
    I was up to my elbows in English papers when I heard a foot scuff on the pavement. I turned.
    "Looking for something?" said a shifty-eyed hamster with a stubbly beard. He was wearing a pair of greasy blue overalls that said guido on the left front pocket.
    I pushed my hat back on my head and let my eyes go as dull as a lawn mower in a rock garden.
    "Um, yeah. I'm like, y'know, looking for a paper I lost, y'know? Would you find a janitor to help me look?" (Natalie wasn't the only one who could act.)

    "I'm a janitor," said the hamster.
    I gave him the once-over.
    The hamster was a big guy. But no wider than a cement mixer and no taller than a stack of sabertooth tigers. A pair of brass knuckles twinkled merrily from the breast pocket of his overalls.
    If he was a janitor, I was the Easter Gecko.
    "Cool," I said. "You must be a new janitor, Mr.... Guido?"
    He scratched at his whiskers with a meaty paw. "Just started this week," he said.
    "Like, can you help me find my report? I think I left it in the principal's office and he, y'know, tossed it."
    "Ya want me to root through that trash with ya?"
    "Like, totally."
    Guido squinted at me for a long moment. I grinned like I didn't have a thought in my head. It wasn't too hard.
    "Okay, I'll show ya where to look," he said. "But make it snappy." Guido pointed to a corner of the trash barrel with a finger like a spear. "I dumped the boss—er, the principal's stuff over there."
    "Like, thanks, dude. For sure."
    I rummaged through the trash in a hurry. I couldn't talk this way much longer without losing a few IQ points.

    Guido leaned on a nearby box, picking his buckteeth with a file and watching me. I didn't find the candy wrappers I'd expected. I did find dull reports, equipment lists, soggy dynamite, escape routes for getaway cars....
    Wait a minute.
    It was pretty odd stuff to find in Principal Zero's trash. But then, he was a pretty odd principal. I shook my head.
    "Come on, kid," said Guido. "Hurry it up."
    The hamster stood and started pacing. He bounced the file lightly against his thick paw.
    My time was running short. I dug deeper. And then I saw something.
    A list scribbled in dark pen strokes:
Pocket picking

Robbery

Grand theft auto

Spelling

Advanced lying

Assault and battery
    "Whatcha got there, kid?" said the fake janitor. He leaned over the trash barrel and reached for the list.

    I snatched the paper and jammed it into my pocket.

    "Totally radical!" I said. "I found it, dude. Like, thanks so much."
    His heavy paw fell on my shoulder. "Let's see it, bright boy. Gotta make sure it's yours. Can't have someone taking trash what don't belong to 'em."

    I searched my mind for ideas. But it was as empty as a school locker in summertime. My tail curled.
    He stuck out his other paw, demanding.
    Rrrring!

    I was never so glad to hear a phone ring. The hamster's eyes shifted toward a black telephone on the desk.
    "Don't move," he said. He went to answer the ringing phone. I scooted out the door as I heard him say, "Yeah? Oh, yes, sir!"
    I trotted off to class as the school bell sounded. If that janitor had been any more attached to his garbage, there'd be a trash-can wedding on the way. Strange.
    I dropped into my seat, then pulled out the list and scanned it again.
    What did it mean? It didn't look like any shopping list I'd ever seen. If the fake principal was up to something, I'd have bet my allowance that this new janitor was in on it, too.
    That made me wonder: Who else at Emerson Hicky was cooking up fiendish plans?
    "Chet Gecko, come up here and answer the questions from last night's math homework."
    Who else besides my teacher, I meant.

7. Talking Trash with Ms. DeBree
    Math class limped by. English class crawled. If my classes got any slower, they'd roll over and croak like a toad.

    I started to wonder why I was so eager to solve the mystery of Principal Zero. I mean, even if he was an impostor, could school possibly get

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