The Mourning Woods - 03 Read Free

giving me a dubious eye just in case I was joking.
     
    But, I wasn’t joking. Sure, I might be a little biased. Emotions can do that to a person. Hell, if she ever said, “Bill, your roommates annoy me. Can you please kill them?” I would probably gleefully walk home and go on a massacre.
     
    Still, there was (love struck) sincerity in my voice when I answered, “You know what I see when I look at you? (Besides the most gorgeous creature to ever walk the face of this planet?) I see someone with the talent to do anything she puts her mind to. I have no doubt that you could move mountains if you decided to.”
     
    Again, she looked thoughtful. Her eyes got a far away look for a few moments. Oh, if only she would get that look when she thought about me. For that, I’d gladly suffer an eternity of the minions of darkness using my nuts as croquet balls. Hell, I’d even tolerate Sally, my vampire partner in crime, being the one swinging the mallet. Fortunately, Sheila spoke again before that particular imagery could further solidify.
     
    Her eyes regained their focus, and maybe it’s just me, but I could have sworn I saw a glimmer of determination in them that wasn’t there before. She nodded her head once and said, “Maybe your mom’s right. Either way you’ve given me a lot to think about.”
     
    The rest of our little pseudo-date was spent talking about considerably less heavy topics, or at least I think they were. My brain had given its all just to get those thoughts out. I have no idea what I said or did, other than making puppy dog eyes at her until we went our separate ways. Sadly, I didn’t have a clue as to how separate they were about to become.
     
    *sigh* It figures. I’ve survived a lot of brushes with death in the past several months, most of them at the hands of creatures far more lethal than I. Wouldn’t it figure that at the end of the day I would be my own worst enemy? God, I am such an asshole.
     

Late For My Own Funeral
     
     
     
    The thing I love about programming is that it’s purely logical. While having a passion for the job helps, at times one can just shut down his emotions and type away, android-like, to get the job done. Pity I’m not very good at doing that. Fortunately for me, though, I have a few spare keyboards in my closet. I needed them.
     
    The next few hours found me trying to do my job and mostly failing. I’d be typing away when suddenly something like, “FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!” would come screaming out of my mouth, followed by me turning my keyboard into a mashed pile of plastic. Oh, well, at least they’re cheaper than monitors.
     
    Ed, for the most part, left me to my misery. He realized I needed a little “me time” to cool off. As late afternoon approached, my sharp vampire ears picked up his voice from out in the living room. I couldn’t hear both sides of the conversation; however, from what I could tell, he had phoned my other roommate, Tom, to let him know that it was probably not a good time to invite his girlfriend over. Ed doesn’t like to show it, but he can be a hell of a good guy when he wants to be.
     
    Sadly, the truth was, there really wasn’t such a thing as a good time for Tom to bring Christy over. See, she’s a witch, a real one. That in of itself doesn’t bother me. It’s the fact that she wants me dead that puts a damper on our relationship. She and her mentor, Harry Decker - the aforementioned VP/wizard from my company - have this loony theory that I am the harbinger of doom for wizard-kind. They, along with all the vampires I know, refer to me as the “Freewill.” Apparently, I’m this rare breed of vampire that can do things the others can’t. As such, there are all sorts of bizarre myths and legends surrounding me. Harry and Christy believe in one that involves my existence somehow heralding the return of these other legendary creatures called “Icons.” Supposedly, these Icons will destroy all the magic users...yadda yadda