yadda, and other assorted bullshit.
Personally, I could care less about any of that. All I know is that Christy is the fucking Wicked Witch of the East Coast. That girl has some scary mojo about her and she isn’t afraid to use it against me. Tom, my oldest and dearest friend, but also a fucking idiot, decided that the best way to handle this was to make Christy pinky-swear not to kill me in our apartment.
Needless to say, because of these little details, my relationship with Christy was a bit strained. Pity, because she was kind of cute. What? Sharks are deadly too. Doesn’t mean they’re not fun to look at in the aquarium.
Speaking of things that were both pretty and deadly, I was interrupted from eavesdropping by the ringing of my own cell phone. I didn’t need to look at the caller ID to know who it was. The specific ringtone, the theme from Halloween , gave it away.
I answered with a sigh. “Hello, Sally.” It was unusual for her to bother me in the middle of the week. Typically, Sally was happy to let me live my life (not that I had much of one). While I was gone, she was left in charge of the coven. Hell, even when I was there it was pretty obvious that she was calling most of the shots. She preferred the former, though, because without me around she was free to cause whatever mischief she pleased, with absolutely no checks to her power. For the most part, she was a competent (if scary) person to leave in charge. However, occasionally her psychotic side got the better of her and she would do something that made me want to shove her out into the sunlight. I really hoped that whatever she was calling me about wasn’t one of those situations.
“Aw, what’s the matter, Bill?” she answered with her typical snide tone, “You don’t sound like your normal chipper self.”
“I’m having a bit of a day, Sally,” I replied, using my free hand to rub my temple. Talking to Sally has a habit of bringing on a migraine.
“Well that’s good, because you’re going to have a bit of a night too.”
“What do you mean?”
“What I mean is that I think your ‘penance’ is about to be paid.”
Oh, crap. “How so?”
“Boston called. They said we should expect company.”
“Who?”
“They didn’t elaborate.”
Not good. Boston was the center of vampire related activity on the East Coast. They didn’t often get involved in the day to day operations of the covens under their jurisdiction, but when they did, you could be sure shit was about to hit the fan. In my case, I was pretty sure I had a pile hanging over my head big enough to smother an elephant.
“Did they say...?” I started to ask.
“No, they didn’t. Colin sounded pretty agitated over the phone, though. I think you’d probably best get your dumpy ass over here as soon as sundown hits.”
Colin was the vampire currently in charge of the Northeast. It was a temporary position; however, since his boss, James, was missing, it was looking more and more likely that his would be a permanent promotion. Pity, as Colin was a little suck-up of a weasel. If he could have, Colin would have glued his lips to the asses of the elder vamps who made up the First Coven, the vampire ruling body more affectionately known as the “Draculas.”
Feeling a sheen of perspiration break out on my forehead, I answered in the only manner I knew how. “Oh, shit!”
“Said with your usual eloquence,” Sally quipped. “So are you coming?”
“Do I have a choice?” Silence on the other end. “Sorry, stupid question. Yeah, I guess so. They can only kill me once, after all.”
“Not really,” Sally replied, as usual doing her best to make me feel worse. “See you in a few.”
I hung up. This did not bode well for me. Three months ago, some serious shit had gone down. It had all started as a joke. Sally had shipped me to China; supposedly at James’s behest (I didn't
Personally, I could care less about any of that. All I know is that Christy is the fucking Wicked Witch of the East Coast. That girl has some scary mojo about her and she isn’t afraid to use it against me. Tom, my oldest and dearest friend, but also a fucking idiot, decided that the best way to handle this was to make Christy pinky-swear not to kill me in our apartment.
Needless to say, because of these little details, my relationship with Christy was a bit strained. Pity, because she was kind of cute. What? Sharks are deadly too. Doesn’t mean they’re not fun to look at in the aquarium.
Speaking of things that were both pretty and deadly, I was interrupted from eavesdropping by the ringing of my own cell phone. I didn’t need to look at the caller ID to know who it was. The specific ringtone, the theme from Halloween , gave it away.
I answered with a sigh. “Hello, Sally.” It was unusual for her to bother me in the middle of the week. Typically, Sally was happy to let me live my life (not that I had much of one). While I was gone, she was left in charge of the coven. Hell, even when I was there it was pretty obvious that she was calling most of the shots. She preferred the former, though, because without me around she was free to cause whatever mischief she pleased, with absolutely no checks to her power. For the most part, she was a competent (if scary) person to leave in charge. However, occasionally her psychotic side got the better of her and she would do something that made me want to shove her out into the sunlight. I really hoped that whatever she was calling me about wasn’t one of those situations.
“Aw, what’s the matter, Bill?” she answered with her typical snide tone, “You don’t sound like your normal chipper self.”
“I’m having a bit of a day, Sally,” I replied, using my free hand to rub my temple. Talking to Sally has a habit of bringing on a migraine.
“Well that’s good, because you’re going to have a bit of a night too.”
“What do you mean?”
“What I mean is that I think your ‘penance’ is about to be paid.”
Oh, crap. “How so?”
“Boston called. They said we should expect company.”
“Who?”
“They didn’t elaborate.”
Not good. Boston was the center of vampire related activity on the East Coast. They didn’t often get involved in the day to day operations of the covens under their jurisdiction, but when they did, you could be sure shit was about to hit the fan. In my case, I was pretty sure I had a pile hanging over my head big enough to smother an elephant.
“Did they say...?” I started to ask.
“No, they didn’t. Colin sounded pretty agitated over the phone, though. I think you’d probably best get your dumpy ass over here as soon as sundown hits.”
Colin was the vampire currently in charge of the Northeast. It was a temporary position; however, since his boss, James, was missing, it was looking more and more likely that his would be a permanent promotion. Pity, as Colin was a little suck-up of a weasel. If he could have, Colin would have glued his lips to the asses of the elder vamps who made up the First Coven, the vampire ruling body more affectionately known as the “Draculas.”
Feeling a sheen of perspiration break out on my forehead, I answered in the only manner I knew how. “Oh, shit!”
“Said with your usual eloquence,” Sally quipped. “So are you coming?”
“Do I have a choice?” Silence on the other end. “Sorry, stupid question. Yeah, I guess so. They can only kill me once, after all.”
“Not really,” Sally replied, as usual doing her best to make me feel worse. “See you in a few.”
I hung up. This did not bode well for me. Three months ago, some serious shit had gone down. It had all started as a joke. Sally had shipped me to China; supposedly at James’s behest (I didn't
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