The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) Read Free

dares not stir by day must walk by night;
    And have is have, however men do catch.
    Near or far off, well won is still well shot;
    And I am I, howe'er I was begot.
     
    Madam, through chance, not honourable conduct; but so what?
    Just irregularly, from the side,
    in at the window, or else through the hatch;
    someone who dares not be seen in the day must walk in the night;
    to have is to have, however you get it.
    Near or far, if you hit the target it is a good shot;
    and I am who I am, however I was conceived.
     
    KING JOHN.
    Go, Faulconbridge; now hast thou thy desire:
    A landless knight makes thee a landed squire.
    Come, madam, and come, Richard, we must speed
    For France, for France, for it is more than need.
     
    Go, Faulconbridge; now you have what you want;
    a knight without land has made you a landed gentleman.
    Come, madam, and come, Richard, we must hurry
    to France, our presence there is essential.
     
    BASTARD.
    Brother, adieu. Good fortune come to thee!
    For thou wast got i' th' way of honesty.
     
     Exeunt all but the BASTARD
     
    A foot of honour better than I was;
    But many a many foot of land the worse.
    Well, now can I make any Joan a lady.
    'Good den, Sir Richard!'-'God-a-mercy, fellow!'
    And if his name be George, I'll call him Peter;
    For new-made honour doth forget men's names:
    'Tis too respective and too sociable
    For your conversion. Now your traveller,
    He and his toothpick at my worship's mess-
    And when my knightly stomach is suffic'd,
    Why then I suck my teeth and catechize
    My picked man of countries: 'My dear sir,'
    Thus leaning on mine elbow I begin
    'I shall beseech you'-That is question now;
    And then comes answer like an Absey book:
    'O sir,' says answer 'at your best command,
    At your employment, at your service, sir!'
    'No, sir,' says question 'I, sweet sir, at yours.'
    And so, ere answer knows what question would,
    Saving in dialogue of compliment,
    And talking of the Alps and Apennines,
    The Pyrenean and the river Po-
    It draws toward supper in conclusion so.
    But this is worshipful society,
    And fits the mounting spirit like myself;
    For he is but a bastard to the time
    That doth not smack of observation-
    And so am I, whether I smack or no;
    And not alone in habit and device,
    Exterior form, outward accoutrement,
    But from the inward motion to deliver
    Sweet, sweet, sweet poison for the age's tooth;
    Which, though I will not practise to deceive,
    Yet, to avoid deceit, I mean to learn;
    For it shall strew the footsteps of my rising.
    But who comes in such haste in riding-robes?
    What woman-post is this? Hath she no husband
    That will take pains to blow a horn before her?
     
    Enter LADY FAULCONBRIDGE, and JAMES GURNEY
     
    O me, 'tis my mother! How now, good lady!
    What brings you here to court so hastily?
     
    Goodbye, brother: may you have good luck!
    For you were conceived legitimately.
     
    [All leave except the Bastard]
     
    I was given a better position,
    but lost plenty of land.
    Well, now I can make any tart a lady.
    “Good day, Sir Richard!"–“God bless you, fellow!"–
    And if he is called George, I'll call him Peter;
    for newly created noblemen can't remember men's names:
    that would be too respectful and too friendly
    for your new position. Now a traveller,
    sitting with his toothpick at my table,
    when I've had plenty to eat,
    then I shall suck my teeth and question
    my chosen travelling man: “my dear sir,"
    that's how I'll begin, leaning on my elbow,
    “I must ask you,"–that is the question;
    and the answer will come back like a textbook:
    “Oh sir," says the answer, “I'm yours to command;
    I will work for you, I'm at your service, sir."
    “No, sir," says the question, “oh I, sweet sir, am at yours."
    And so, before he even knows what I want,
    except that I want respect,
    he'll be talking about the Alps and the Apennines,
    the Pyrenees and the River Po,
    and so supper comes to an end.
    But this is high society,
    suitable for someone on the up like me;
    I'll