The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) Read Free Page A

only be seen as a bastard by
    someone who can't see what I've become;
    that which I am, disguised or not.
    And not just through my clothes and crest,
    the way I look on the outside,
    but from the inside I shall provide
    sweet flattery for their appetites:
    which I won't use to deceive,
    but to avoid being deceived, I shall learn about it;
    for flattery will be all around me as I rise up.
    But who is this coming so quickly in riding clothes?
    What female messenger is this? Doesn't she have a husband
    to make the effort to blow a horn to show she's coming?
     
    [Enter Lady Faulconbridge and James Gurney]
     
    Hello! It's my mother.–How are you, good lady?
    Why have you come rushing to court?
     
    LADY FAULCONBRIDGE.
    Where is that slave, thy brother?
    Where is he
    That holds in chase mine honour up and down?
     
    Where is that swine, your brother?
    Where is the one who's trying to destroy my honour?
     
    BASTARD.
    My brother Robert, old Sir Robert's son?
    Colbrand the giant, that same mighty man?
    Is it Sir Robert's son that you seek so?
     
    My brother Robert, the son of old Sir Robert?
    Colbrand the giant, that great man?
    Is it Sir Robert's son that you are looking for?
     
    LADY FAULCONBRIDGE.
    Sir Robert's son! Ay, thou unreverend boy,
    Sir Robert's son! Why scorn'st thou at Sir Robert?
    He is Sir Robert's son, and so art thou.
     
    Sir Robert's son! Yes, you disrespectful boy,
    Sir Robert's son! Why are you mocking Sir Robert?
    He is Sir Robert's son, and so are you.
     
    BASTARD.
    James Gurney, wilt thou give us leave awhile?
     
    James Gurney, will you give us a moment?
     
    GURNEY.
    Good leave, good Philip.
     
    Certainly, good Philip.
     
    BASTARD.
    Philip-Sparrow! James,
    There's toys abroad-anon I'll tell thee more.
     
    Philip's a name for sparrows! James,
    gifts have been handed out–I'll tell you more soon.
     
    Exit GURNEY
     
    Madam, I was not old Sir Robert's son;
    Sir Robert might have eat his part in me
    Upon Good Friday, and ne'er broke his fast.
    Sir Robert could do: well-marry, to confess-
    Could he get me? Sir Robert could not do it:
    We know his handiwork. Therefore, good mother,
    To whom am I beholding for these limbs?
    Sir Robert never holp to make this leg.
     
    Madam, I was not the son of old Sir Robert;
    Sir Robert could have had the part of me he created
    to eat on Good Friday and not broken his fast.
    Sir Robert was capable, we might as well admit it,
    but could he create me? Sir Robert couldn't do it:
    we know what his children look like. Therefore, good mother,
    who do I get this body from?
    Sir Robert never helped to make thisleg.
     
    LADY FAULCONBRIDGE.
    Hast thou conspired with thy brother too,
    That for thine own gain shouldst defend mine honour?
    What means this scorn, thou most untoward knave?
     
    Have you conspired with your brother as well,
    when you ought to be defending my honour?
    What do you mean by this contempt, you ill mannered scoundrel?
     
    BASTARD.
    Knight, knight, good mother, Basilisco-like.
    What! I am dubb'd; I have it on my shoulder.
    But, mother, I am not Sir Robert's son:
    I have disclaim'd Sir Robert and my land;
    Legitimation, name, and all is gone.
    Then, good my mother, let me know my father-
    Some proper man, I hope. Who was it, mother?
     
    Knight, knight, good mother, like Basilisco.
    What! I have been knighted; I've been touched on the shoulder.
    But mother, I am not the son of Sir Robert:
    I have given up Sir Robert and my land;
    legitimacy, title and everything has gone.
    So, my good mother, tell me who my father is–
    some good man, I hope. Who was it, mother?
     
    LADY FAULCONBRIDGE.
    Hast thou denied thyself a Faulconbridge?
     
    Have you rejected the name of Faulconbridge?
     
    BASTARD.
    As faithfully as I deny the devil.
     
    As strongly as I reject the devil.
     
    LADY FAULCONBRIDGE.
    King Richard Coeur-de-lion was thy father.
    By long and vehement suit I was seduc'd
    To make room for him in my husband's bed.
    Heaven lay not my transgression to my