The Cinderella Killer Read Free Page A

you’re currently fancy-free, but you have been seen at some Hollywood events recently escorting the lovely British actress Ann Jordan. Is there anything there?’
    â€˜There’s a very pretty girl there. Who I happen to know. But if I married every pretty girl I happen to know … hell, I’d have to have a camp bed at the wedding chapel.’
    â€˜So you’re not going to tell us any more about you and Ann Jordan?’
    â€˜Dead right I’m not, Johnny boy.’
    â€˜Hmm.’ The host recognized he wasn’t going to get any further there, and did something almost unprecedented. He looked at his notes before starting on a new tack. ‘Kenny, there’s been a lot of controversy recently over American gun laws.’
    â€˜Sure.’ His expression showed he was ready for this one too.
    â€˜And you know that over here we have rather different views on the right of citizens to bear arms.’
    â€˜Uh-huh.’
    â€˜You have your Constitution …’
    â€˜And the Second Amendment, yeah.’
    â€˜And you have spoken out in public in support of your current gun laws …’
    â€˜I have.’
    â€˜And I believe you have quite an extensive collection of guns …’
    â€˜Yup. With some folks it’s stamps or butterflies. With me it’s guns.’
    â€˜Well, Kenny, now you’re in England, do you wish you had the right to carry a gun here?’
    It was a good question, just controversial enough to allow Kenny Polizzi to show himself up. His reply could have quite an effect on his image this side of the pond.
    â€˜Well, there’s a bit of me – a bit of most Americans, Johnny boy,’ he said, ‘that always feels kinda naked without a gun. But the United States, I’m sorry to say, is still quite a violent place. The only reason I need a gun over there is because everyone else I meet will also have a gun.’ Ingenuously, he spread his hands wide. ‘Self-protection. Whereas here in this cute little island of yours it’s only the bad guys who got guns. What use would I have with a gun over here? What could I use it for? To stir my afternoon tea with before I make a start on the cucumber sandwiches – what-ho?’
    He said this last sentence in the English accent of a Wodehousian silly ass. The
Johnny Martin Show
audience loved it.
    And back in his digs in Eastbourne, Charles was also impressed by Kenny Polizzi’s media savvy.

TWO
    FAIRY GODMOTHER: Now I will use my magic arts
    To summon help from foreign parts.
    A s he was about to enter the rehearsal room, Charles Paris looked at the new
Cinderella
poster with practised cynicism. Since time immemorial ‘billing’ – literally where your name appears on the playbill and in what size lettering – has been very important to actors. It’s the kind of detail their agents wrangle about endlessly with managements (or they do if their agent is someone other than Charles’s – Maurice Skellern).
    And the rule of thumb is that the more the performer is being paid, the more prominent he or she will be on the poster. In the theatre, billing is an unarguable reflection of success or failure. The highest peak attainable is a position ‘above the title’. The artiste who reaches that level is an undoubted star, more important than anyone else in the show, more important than the show itself (and certainly more important than the show’s writer).
    But then sometimes a show has two stars, each of whom has the right to appear in that coveted position. In that situation the wrangling between agent and management becomes even more heated.
    The
Cinderella
poster left no doubt as to who was the star. The size of Kenny Polizzi’s name suggested that he must be being paid about fifty per cent of the production’s budget. This implication was endorsed by the way his photograph dominated the space. The internationally recognized