people whine all day about their dental plan.
Please.
I’m surprised about Dolly. I’d have thought she made more. I mean, how does she keep herself in Hermès scarves on a mere $75,000 a year?
Nad ;-)
To: Nadine Wilcock
From: Mel Fuller
Subject: CONFIDENTIAL
Are you kidding? Dolly comes from money. Haven’t you ever heard her talk about how she used to summer in Newport?
I was going to ask Aaron out for an I-forgive-you drink after work—NOT to get back together with him, just so he’ll stop with the Wagner already—but now that I see how much more he makes than I do, I can’t even bear to look at him. I KNOW I’m a better writer than he is. So what’s he getting $75,000 per year, while I’m stuck at $45,000, doing fashion shows and movie premieres?
Mel
To: Mel Fuller
From: Nadine Wilcock
Subject: CONFIDENTIAL
Um, because you’re good at them? Fashion shows and movie premieres, I mean.
Nad ;-)
P.S.: I have to do that new Peking duck place on Mott. Come with me.
To: Nadine Wilcock
From: Mel Fuller
Subject: Lunch
I can’t. You know I can’t. I’ve got to walk Paco.
Mel
To: Mel Fuller
From: Nadine Wilcock
Subject: Lunch and that dog
Okay, how long is this going to go on? You and that dog, I mean? I can’t be going out to eat by myself every day. Who’s going to keep me from ordering the double-patty cheddar melt?
I am serious. This dog thing is not working for me.
Nad
To: Nadine Wilcock
From: Mel Fuller
Subject: Lunch and that dog
What am I supposed to do, Nadine? Let the poor thing sit in the apartment all day until he bursts? I know you aren’t a dog person, but have some compassion. It’s only until Mrs. Friedlander gets better.
Mel
P.S.: This just in: Harrison Ford and his wife? On again. I swear it. His publicist just called.
I’m just glad for the kids, you know? Because that’s what it’s all about.
To: Mel Fuller
From: Nadine Wilcock
Subject: It’s only until Mrs. Friedlander gets better
And when is THAT going to be? Earth to Mel. Come in, Mel. The woman is in a COMA. Okay? She is COMATOSE. I think some alternative arrangements for the woman’s pets need to be made. You are a DOORMAT. A COMATOSE woman is using you as a DOORMAT.
The woman has to have some relatives, Mel. FIND THEM.
Besides, people shouldn’t keep Great Danes in the city. It’s cruel.
Nad :-(
P.S.: You are the only person I know who still cares about Harrison and his wife patching things up. Give it up, girl.
To: Mel Fuller
From: Don and Beverly Fuller
Subject: Debbie Phillips
Melissa, honey, it’s Mom. Look, your father and I got e-mail! Isn’t it great? Now I can write to you, and maybe you’ll answer for a change!
Just kidding, sweetheart.
Anyway, Daddy and I thought you’d want to know that little Debbie Phillips—you remember Debbie, don’t you? Dr. Phillips’s little girl? He was your dentist. And wasn’t Debbie Homecoming Queen your senior year in high school? Anyway, Debbie’s just got married! Yes! The announcement was in the paper.
And do you know what, Melissa? The Duane County Register is on the line now…. Oh, Daddy says it’s ON-LINE, not on the line. Well, whatever. I get so confused.
Anyway, Debbie’s announcement is ON-LINE, so I am sending it to you, as what they call an attachment. I hope you enjoy it, dear. She’s marrying a doctor from Westchester! Well, we always knew she’d do well for herself. All that lovely blonde hair. And look, she graduated summa cum laude from Princeton! Then she went
Please.
I’m surprised about Dolly. I’d have thought she made more. I mean, how does she keep herself in Hermès scarves on a mere $75,000 a year?
Nad ;-)
To: Nadine Wilcock
From: Mel Fuller
Subject: CONFIDENTIAL
Are you kidding? Dolly comes from money. Haven’t you ever heard her talk about how she used to summer in Newport?
I was going to ask Aaron out for an I-forgive-you drink after work—NOT to get back together with him, just so he’ll stop with the Wagner already—but now that I see how much more he makes than I do, I can’t even bear to look at him. I KNOW I’m a better writer than he is. So what’s he getting $75,000 per year, while I’m stuck at $45,000, doing fashion shows and movie premieres?
Mel
To: Mel Fuller
From: Nadine Wilcock
Subject: CONFIDENTIAL
Um, because you’re good at them? Fashion shows and movie premieres, I mean.
Nad ;-)
P.S.: I have to do that new Peking duck place on Mott. Come with me.
To: Nadine Wilcock
From: Mel Fuller
Subject: Lunch
I can’t. You know I can’t. I’ve got to walk Paco.
Mel
To: Mel Fuller
From: Nadine Wilcock
Subject: Lunch and that dog
Okay, how long is this going to go on? You and that dog, I mean? I can’t be going out to eat by myself every day. Who’s going to keep me from ordering the double-patty cheddar melt?
I am serious. This dog thing is not working for me.
Nad
To: Nadine Wilcock
From: Mel Fuller
Subject: Lunch and that dog
What am I supposed to do, Nadine? Let the poor thing sit in the apartment all day until he bursts? I know you aren’t a dog person, but have some compassion. It’s only until Mrs. Friedlander gets better.
Mel
P.S.: This just in: Harrison Ford and his wife? On again. I swear it. His publicist just called.
I’m just glad for the kids, you know? Because that’s what it’s all about.
To: Mel Fuller
From: Nadine Wilcock
Subject: It’s only until Mrs. Friedlander gets better
And when is THAT going to be? Earth to Mel. Come in, Mel. The woman is in a COMA. Okay? She is COMATOSE. I think some alternative arrangements for the woman’s pets need to be made. You are a DOORMAT. A COMATOSE woman is using you as a DOORMAT.
The woman has to have some relatives, Mel. FIND THEM.
Besides, people shouldn’t keep Great Danes in the city. It’s cruel.
Nad :-(
P.S.: You are the only person I know who still cares about Harrison and his wife patching things up. Give it up, girl.
To: Mel Fuller
From: Don and Beverly Fuller
Subject: Debbie Phillips
Melissa, honey, it’s Mom. Look, your father and I got e-mail! Isn’t it great? Now I can write to you, and maybe you’ll answer for a change!
Just kidding, sweetheart.
Anyway, Daddy and I thought you’d want to know that little Debbie Phillips—you remember Debbie, don’t you? Dr. Phillips’s little girl? He was your dentist. And wasn’t Debbie Homecoming Queen your senior year in high school? Anyway, Debbie’s just got married! Yes! The announcement was in the paper.
And do you know what, Melissa? The Duane County Register is on the line now…. Oh, Daddy says it’s ON-LINE, not on the line. Well, whatever. I get so confused.
Anyway, Debbie’s announcement is ON-LINE, so I am sending it to you, as what they call an attachment. I hope you enjoy it, dear. She’s marrying a doctor from Westchester! Well, we always knew she’d do well for herself. All that lovely blonde hair. And look, she graduated summa cum laude from Princeton! Then she went
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