The Affair of the Mutilated Mink Read Free Page B

groaned. 'Not another one! I suppose you wrote it, too, did you?'
    'What's that?' Gilbert gave a roar. He stepped menacingly up to the newcomer. 'Let me tell you that I am the sole writer of The King's Man , and—'
    'Really?' The other beamed and held out his hand. 'I'm delighted to meet you. I suppose that means you'll be coming down to Alderley, too, will you?'
    Gilbert stared at him. 'Eh?'
    Haggermeir goggled. 'Who - who are you?'
    'Oh, sorry. Should have introduced myself. I'm Burford.'
    Haggermeir's jaw dropped. ' Earl Burford?'
    'Of, as a matter of fact.'
    'Uh?'
    'Earl of Burford's the correct form. Not that it matters.'
    'Oh, my lord, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. Do forgive me.' Haggermeir was red-faced. 'Please, sit down.' He ushered Lord Burford to a chair. 'Will you have a drink, sir?'
    'Ah.' Lord Burford thought for a moment. 'I'll have a bourbon old fashioned.'
    'Oh, I'll have to send down for that. I only have Scotch.'
    'No, no, Scotch and soda will be fine.'
    'Sure?'
    'Quite. Er, prefer it, actually. No offence. Just thought, you being American . . .' Lord Burford tailed off.
    Gilbert said: 'Whisky'll suit me, too, thanks - Cyrus.'
    Haggermeir, crossing to a makeshift bar, cast him a dirty glance.
    Gilbert flopped into a chair near the Earl's. 'Why should you expect me at Alderley, Lord Burford?'
    'Well, as the producer wants to look over the place to see if it's suitable for filming, I assumed the writer would want to, as well.'
    Gilbert nodded, as though a light had dawned. 'Ah, yes, of course -1 will want to. I was just surprised you, a non-professional, realising the necessity of that. Cyrus and I were hoping you'd include me in the invitation. That's settled, then. Now, let me see, Cyrus, you're going down when?'
    Haggermeir came hack carrying two glasses. He looked grim. He handed one to the Earl and the other to Gilbert, saying, 'Thursday. But on second thought, I'm not sure it's necessary for you to come - until I've decided if the place is suitable.'
    'Oh, nonsense. If you do decide on it, the script will need a lot of adaptation. I'll have to start the rewrite as soon as possible.' He downed his whisky and got to his feet. 'So Thursday it will be. I'll make my own way down, Cyrus. See you there. Thanks for the invitation, Lord Burford. I should be there for lunch. Bye.' And Gilbert ambled from the room.
    Lord Burford said: 'Interestin' feller.'
    Haggermeir grunted grimly.
    'Unusual personality. I didn't catch the name.'
    'Arlington Gilbert.'
    'Oh.'
    'Earl, it's an honour to have you here, but is there anything you particularly wanted to talk about?'
    'Well, just this: it's my missus. She isn't at all keen on having this picture shot at Alderley. Didn't want you to arrive assumin' everything was cut and dried.'
    'Oh, I won't be, my lord. I anticipated that situation. Now, firstly, so her ladyship doesn't object to my looking over the place, I recommend you tell her I want to do it because I'm thinking of building a replica of Alderley in Hollywood. It's quite true. If it turns out it's impractical to shoot at Alderley, I may well do that. Then, if I do find the house is OK, I suggest we leave the next stage to Rex. He has a very persuasive manner.'
    'Ah, I see.' The Earl looked knowing. 'Oh, that's splendid. Right ho. Er, he around, by any chance?'
    'No, afraid not. He's out seeing the sights. Naturally, we didn't expect you to call . . .'
    'Course you didn't. I'll see him Thursday. Must say it's a real thrill.' He stood up. 'Better be toddlin' off now.'
    Haggermeir got up hastily. 'Well, my lord, it's been a real pleasure. And I do apologise for that little misunderstanding.'
    'Think nothing of it. Sort of thing that's always happenin' to me. Lavinia says I lack an air of authority. Funny name, that.'
    Haggermeir looked blank. 'Lavinia?'
    'No, no - Arlington Gilbert. Backwards. Like that singer chappie.'
    'Er, I'm afraid I don't—'
    'Feller who sings with the MacDonald gal. Always think he ought to be