The A-Word Read Free Page A

calmness I’d felt had become panic, now that Casey had let me go. He clapped Donny on the shoulder pads.
    “Good job, Sneed,” he said. His lips twitched, but he kept a straight face. “You won the game for us. You’re the man.”
    My shoulders sagged.
    Okay, it wasn’t that funny. But it was sort of funny.
    Then a voice to my left said, “Jenna.”
    My heart stopped in mid-beat. Ryan Sloboda.
    “Thanks for coming,” he said. He was sweaty. His hair was standing up every which way. There was a huge smudge of dirt on his cheek. But he was looking at me. Not at the coaches or Donny or anyone else. At me.
    He grinned.
    My mouth went dry. The Frito pie congealed in my belly.
    “I’m going to call you, okay?” Ryan said. He was calm and matter-of-fact about it.
    “Okay,” I told Ryan. My heart pranced around my chest like one of those show ponies.
    My brother continued telling Donny Sneed what a hotshot player he was, while Lanie looked on, discombobulated. Why was her ex being nice? I had the same question, but screw it: Ryan Sloboda was going to call me!
    Of course then Coach Collins stomped up and told Ryan he needed to get his ass to the field house. “You too, Sneed,” he added.
    “Hey, Casey,” Ryan said to my brother as he hustled off. “Good game, huh?”
    Casey’s face went blank. Then he frowned. Bad sign.
    “I gotta pee,” Maggie announced, which definitely broke the already breaking mood. Casey told her we’d meet her at the car.
    WE WALKED BRISKLY toward the Merc, not because we were rushing, but I think because it made Casey feel like we were doing something normal people would do. He avoided my eyes. The glow was long gone. We lounged under the parking lot lights while people searched out their cars and the knots of traffic wound to the street. I wanted to think about Ryan Sloboda. But Casey had made that impossible.
    “Why did you help him?” I asked. “Donny, I mean. You did, right?” Maybe I was wrong.
    My brother heaved a sigh, like an old man. He looked tired, even though I knew he would never be either old or tired again.
    “What am I supposed to do? Let Lanie be saddled with a loser? She’s top-of-the-class. Already accepted to UT. Then vet school, if she gets in, which I know she will. Did I tell you that? That she wants to be a vet? He’s Sneed. But he’s good to her. He’s
good
. Better him than most of the other numbnuts around here …” His voice faded. “She’ll see that when she’s in vet school.”
    A million sharp-tongued comments froze on my tongue.
    Casey nudged me with a smirk. “Least it’s funny for me, right? Knowing he would have fallen flat on his face?”
    “Ha ha,” I said, not laughing.
    He didn’t respond, just rubbed at his back where I knew his retracted wings sat. Something tightened inside me.
    “Do you always know they’re there?” I whispered.
    Casey’s gaze shot to mine.
    We didn’t talk about it much. Or at all. Maybe since I knew he was grounded because he’d used his earthly flight to save me. Crazy angel rules.
    “I guess,” he said after a bit. “Yeah. I do. I guess that’s part of it. Of being—”
    “How did it feel?” I interrupted. “Flying?” So much had happened since last year that it had felt like just one more thing to talk about. But suddenly I needed to know.
    “Amazing,” he said, and it surprised me. His voice was deep and sincere in the way he wasn’t always with me, even now. “I could feel them stretch out and become part of me. Like my body welcomed them or something. Does that make sense? And then there I was—in the air flying toward you. I’dnever … God, Jenna. It was the best thing ever. Like I was made for it.”
    I knew then the other reason we didn’t talk about it. It was just another thing he loved and couldn’t have, another thing he now had to miss forever.
    Across the parking lot, I spied Maggie hurrying toward us. I waved my arm and she waved back. Somewhere in those two short