That Dirty Dog and Other Naughty Stories for Good Boys and Girls Read Free Page A

things were done properly and no-one cheated. ‘But,’ he said, ‘what if the supervisor couldn’t stay in the room?’
    â€˜And how might that come about?’ asked Mrs Hammond.
    â€˜Stinky Adams,’ replied Mr Brown.
    Mr Brown needed the kids’ help for this plan, and he explained to them that Mrs Hammond thought the test was unfair. It would be tough, he said, but the plan was for Stinky to let one go during the test so that the supervisor was forced to leave the room.
    But! The kids would have to pretend that nothing had happened. If the supervisor smelt a rat, the trick wouldn’t work.
    The supervisor could never say that she left because of a terrible smell – that would just sound too rude. So, with a bit of luck, the school’s test results wouldn’t make it on to the list.
    Of course, the big question was how to get the kids to stay in the room during one of Stinky’s smells.
    â€˜Practice is the answer,’ said Mr Brown. ‘We can become immune. Every day for the next month, I’m going to ask Stinky to do a really bad smell – I can’t believe I’m saying this – and I’m going to ask you all to last a minute longer than the day before. I’m sure we can do it, but I should warn you. On the day of the test I’m going to ask Stinky to do one of his worst – something truly frightening.’
    â€˜Oh, no!’ the kids said to each other, gagging already. But they liked Mr Brown and Mrs Hammond, and they were determined to help.
    So, the very next day, the practice sessions began. At first, most kids could only last a few seconds before collapsing and gasping for air. But Mr Brown was right. Slowly but surely they got to the stage where they could last a full thirty minutes, which was probably the length of the test.
    Finally, the day arrived. Luckily it was on Stinky’s birthday and Mr Brown suggested that he ask his mum for a special breakfast. Two bowls of prunes, four eggs, two bits of bacon, three thick pork sausages, three fried potato cakes and four bits of toast with a really thick layer of peanut butter. That would do the trick.
    It certainly did. As the kids sat down to do the test and the supervisor took her place at the front, everyone could tell that Stinky was just about bursting. Stinky looked over to Mr Brown, who nodded. Then, silent but deadly, Stinky let it rip.
    Now we’ve all come across the odd bad smell but this was something else. Something evil and twisted. A very sick puppy. Nothing could help you imagine what it was like – not even the smell of a thousand dead rats, or a hole-in-the-ground dunny, or the breath of someone who had just smoked a hundred cigarettes after not cleaning their teeth for a year, or rotting fish-heads in a bin.
    Kids shifted in their seats, held their breath or tried to think of something else – anything except getting up and leaving.
    The supervisor’s eyes widened as the horrible smell wafted over. What was that foul stench? And how come no-one else seemed to notice it? Was it her imagination?
    Beads of perspiration began to form on her brow and she went white. She held a handkerchief to her mouth and staggered to her feet. She realised she hadn’t taken a breath for well over a minute and panic set in. Lurching all over the place, she zig-zagged towards the door.
    Kids were twitching in their seats, desperate for her to leave. But there was one more surprise in store. As the supervisor got closer to the door, she got closer to Stinky.
    Now, I’ve seen some huge vomits before, but this one was a ten. All over the blackboard, all over the floor and even on the ceiling. Finally, the poor supervisor crawled out the door on her hands and knees, and stumbled towards her car in the parking lot.
    You could hear the sigh of relief from all the kids. At last, they could leave too!
    But it wasn’t just a sigh everyone had heard. Stinky had let