Tangled Thoughts Read Free Page A

raised her arms higher. “Pretend you’re at the bookstore, okay? Get people drinks or something. Flirt with some girls and talk about sports or whatever the hell with some guys. Just don’t get in any trouble.”
    â€œRight. No trouble. Get drinks.” I saluted her as she turned to disappear into the party.
    â€œJust,” she said, “be yourself. But, like, a
relaxed
version of yourself.”
    That, I thought, was the problem. I couldn’t relax. Maybe I really
didn’t
know how to have fun, not in a crowd of strangers. I used to think I knew myself well, but I hadn’t known there was so much I
didn’t
know. I hated feeling so anonymous, like nobody. Standing in the beer-scented kitchen of people I didn’t know, pouring myself a drink I didn’t really want, felt as far from who I thought I was as I could get.
    But sometimes, when people had no idea who you were, they spoke freely.
    From behind me, I heard my uncle’s name. He wasn’t being discreet about it either, this kid, pronouncing
Astor
like it was the punchline to a joke. Everything about him was familiar, though I’d never seen him before. I knew plenty like him from the Academy, with mouths too big and dicks too small, and trust funds large enough to make up for both. Typical Rex Madsens, the kinds of guys Alexis was
supposed
to date.
    When he threw Lex’s name into his conversation, I started paying attention. He knew her, obviously, and it sounded like he’d just suggested—
    â€œWho the fuck are you, dude?” The kid was looking right at me, giving me a full up and down with more hostility than seemed necessary. He flicked his too-coiffed hair to the side with a quick snap of his head.
    â€œExcuse me for a second,” I said to the girl standing behind me at the keg and handed her my untouched beer. She and her friend gave me plenty of space as they leaned their blonde heads together towhisper. Everyone in at least a five person radius was suddenly quiet. I stepped toward the kid. “Were you just talking about Alexis Morrow?”
    â€œWhat do you care?” He puffed out his sweater vest and I knew exactly where this conversation was headed. I was going to let it, too.
    I wanted him to keep talking so I said: “I’m on staff with her.”
    â€œReally. You work for that prick too?
That’s
interesting.” His smug smile told me he thought he was hysterical. I gritted my teeth and shrugged. While giving me another once over, he said, “So, have
you
boned her yet?”
    I shrugged again. “Not today.”
    â€œOkay, tell us this—think it’s worth sharing her mouth with every dick in the District?”
    â€œIs that why you keep staring at mine?”
    I wasn’t sure who punched who first.
    But I knew I hit him harder.

Chapter Three
    Lainey
    T he other thing about college: it went
fast
. Faster even than high school. In the time it took me to blink, we were a few weeks into the semester. So far I’d turned in all my assignments on time, joined a volleyball team, and was actually starting to feel like I had half a clue what I was doing. Except for one little thing: the morning I woke up and my first boy-related thoughts were about Jack, not Carter, I knew I was in trouble.
    But maybe it was the good kind of trouble, the kind I needed to get into.
    Classes were over for the day, and I was enjoying the crisp air and the miracle that was the street on which I lived. It was a tiny haven, tucked between the main campus buildings and the Charles river, lined on both sides with trees and old brownstones and with an actual castle at one end. A small one, but still. Autumn was officially invading the city and it was invigorating, blowing out the heat of summer andturning everyone’s cheeks a fresh pink. I called Amy as I reached the steps of my dorm.
    â€œI think I have a crush on my TA,” I blurted as soon as she answered. The