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in the
presence of men and act like total buffoons around men they find attractive .
Arghh! But I have my reasons. I didn’t used to be like this. At one point,
I was just like everyone else; with friends and a boyfriend I was in love with,
but things change, and this is apparently who I am now—a plain Jane girl who
has only one friend, and that’s because she’s from another state and doesn’t
know anything about me. The new me can’t even talk like a sane person to the
first attractive guy I’ve encountered in what feels like ages.
    “Yeah, I know what you mean. This college stuff is
pretty hard. I feel like I’m living on the edge if I take time to eat in a
place other than the school cafeteria,” he says with a grunt.
    I push the thoughts of what I refer to as “my past
life” as far away as I can, nod, and laugh in agreement. It’s true, college is
a huge change of pace from the carefree life most everyone takes for granted
when they’re in high school. I was one of them, until I turned sixteen anyway;
then I took nothing for granted.

Chapter Two
    Three
years ago . . .
    “Hey, Jess, are you planning on ever getting into this
car or do I have to get out and shove you into the back seat? Please say you
want me to put you into the back seat.”
    Rogan is such a pervert and I love him for it. He’s
leaning over the passenger seat with his left arm casually draped over the
steering wheel wiggling his eyebrows up and down trying to tempt me into the
back seat, even though he knows I won’t do it. We haven’t exactly gotten to the
point in our relationship for back seat rendezvous’.
    “I’m trying to find Cass. She was supposed to wait for
me until I got out of practice. Mom’s going to be pissed if I leave without
her, so unless you want me to get grounded for losing my baby sister and never
get the opportunity to get me into the back seat and have your wicked way with
me, then you better get your mind out of the gutter and help me find her.”
    He pulls ahead and into an empty parking spot,
catching up quickly with me on the sidewalk along the front of the high school
while I make my way around toward the back of the building where Cass and her
boyfriend, Luke, sometimes hang out. Our mother doesn’t approve of their having
alone time at their age. I can’t say I blame her; eleven years old is pretty
young, but I’m supposed to be the cool older sister so I just make sure to
“casually” watch them like a hawk. If I’m not getting any, I’ll be damned if my
little sister tries to.
    Before I round the corner, Rogan grabs me by the elbow
and swings me around so I’m facing him. A gasp leaves my throat. Being this
close to him, even after all this time, still makes my heart thump in my chest.
We’ve been together for almost one year. It’ll be one year in two weeks, the
longest relationship of any of our friends and the envy of most of them.
    He bends down—he’s one of the only guys who’s taller
than I am—and lightly traces the back of his hand down the side of my face. He
grazes his thumb along my lower lip before replacing his thumb with his lips,
resulting in a low moan emanating from my throat. This is my favorite kiss of
ours. It’s so soft I almost wonder if we ever kissed, but the fluttering in my
heart confirms that we did.
    “Sorry, I just couldn’t resist doing that. School
sucks for so many reasons, but the biggest one is that I can’t be with you
more. I miss you so much in the day it drives me crazy, and everyone else who
has to hear me talk about how much I miss you,” he says with a grin as he pulls
me close to his chest. He rests his chin on top of my head, swaying us from
left to right as if we’re leaves in the wind able to fly wherever and whenever
we want.
    “Why don’t you two get a room?” I turn around quickly
and see my sister a few feet ahead with a big grin, heading right toward us,
Luke in tow. She looks happy, which makes me happy, but I think a