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me on the embarrassingly drunk category.
                  I shrug. “Nah. If I have one more, I might end up like Melanie Martinez and fuck Noah Collier.” I laugh hysterically while Mark tries not to.
                  Melanie is the campus slut and one night she got so drunk that she ended up banging the one and only (nastier) version of Carrot Top at St. Norbert.
                  Now her tainted slut status has been downgraded to “ginger fucking slutinez”. So need I say that she is no longer banging any guy she wants? Didn’t think so.
                  “You’re fucking terrible, Alex. But did you hear that he was telling everyone the next day that as she was giving him head, he farted in her face?” Mark says bending over laughing and wiping away some stray tears from his face.
                  “DUDE, are you shittin’ me?? I call major FOUL! I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. Fucking sick, it’s NOAH COLLIER! Yuck! That’s enough to make we want to cut my tits off let alone have him fart in my fucking face while I’m sucking him off. OH EM GEE! I’m surprised she could suck his dick AND fuck him without throwing up in his face.”I shudder and wipe some of my tears away.
                  After we both compose ourselves, I say, “Anyway, I think I’m just gonna head home. Magda disappeared on me with what’s his face and she said there were supposed to be some HOT guys here from Alpha Xi Delta but I don’t see any. No offense to you, of course.”
                  Mark is cute but a little too short for my taste. He’s got a nice smile and nice curly brown hair but nothing that calls to my libido—not that any other girls have any problems with him. From what I hear he gets a lot of ass, so kudos to him.
                  I guess maybe I don’t have a libido. I don’t even really know what it feels like to want someone like that . Magda makes it look easy but for some reason, I can’t seem to find anyone that I feel like boning. I mentally shrug.
                  “None taken,” he says laughing.
                  Looking around, he shrugs. “They were supposed to be here tonight. Maybe they stopped by at a different party.”
                  “It’s all right. I’m just gonna get out of here. If you see Magda later can you tell her I left? She hates it when I interrupt her,” I say, cringing when I think back to the times that I have interrupted her and she’s been less than lady like about it, to say the least.
                  “No problem. You sure you can get home ok by yourself?” He asks with concern in his voice.
                  “I got it. I’m not drunk, just tipsy,” I assure him, laughing as I get down from the counter.
                  I notice then, that my vision is a little blurry but not too bad.
                  “Well, make sure you call me or text me when you get home so I know you made it all right,” he adds with a stern look.
                  I grab onto his shoulder and look at him. “I will. No worries. SHIT! What the fuck is Pedi doing here?” I ask, looking over his shoulder.
                  “Who?” Mark asks as he looks around the room.
                  My eyebrows furrow with disgust. “Studabaker. What the fuck is he doing here?”
                  “Oh,” he laughs, using his finger to point at him.
                  I hit his hand immediately so that Studabaker doesn’t see us.
                  I don’t want him getting any ideas about coming over here. He’s the last person I want to see tonight.
                  Mark sighs. “I don’t know he’s always at these parties for no reason. Just hangs back and looks at everyone like a fucking creeper. I don’t even know how he finds out about the