Something Had to Give Read Free

routine remained the same and she never complained.
    We all took Mommy for granted. She never got the thank you she deserved and we certainly never gave her a break. I’m not sure if it was because it was what we learned to expect from her or if it was because she never demanded the appreciation she deserved. I never saw Mommy stand up for herself; she never raised her voice, and never voiced her opinion. She was a go-with-the-flow type of person. The type to do whatever needed to be done to keep the peace and avoid confrontation. I often wondered if Mommy was happy. I wondered if she was OK with not having a voice in our home. It was so hard to tell. Mommy kept to herself. She never went out with friends and she only talked to her sister on the phone when Daddy was gone. The most Mommy would ever talk, was when Aunt Michelle would call. Many times I would sit outside her bedroom door at amazement of how much she would talk and laugh. Most of things she talked about, I didn’t understand, but it was just nice to hear genuine happiness coming from her. I could never figure out why this only happened when Daddy was gone. Apparently, I was the only one who wondered about it, as this was the accepted norm in our home. No one ever questioned it. Mommy was a wonderful homemaker, but I knew early on that I wouldn’t be like her when I grew up. I was convinced that Mommy would be so much happier if she were a teacher. If she had the opportunity to meet Mrs. McCleary, she would’ve realized it right away. I made up my mind early on that I wouldn’t have a life like mommy. I would teach, cook when I felt like it in the evenings, but I definitely would not clean my house every day. I would make sure there was time to talk and laugh on the phone with friends. Maybe by then Shanna would like me. Maybe by that time, we could laugh and talk like Mommy and Aunt Michelle.
    Mommy reminded me a lot of grandma. Grandma Gladys and Grandpa Ulysses lived in Michigan, where Shanna and I would spend the bulk of our summer vacations. I never felt safe flying to Michigan. The way my stomach dropped at takeoff and the constant popping in my ears made the flight seem like torture. Shanna would try to seem brave, but on several occasions, I noticed that she was gripping the armrest and breathing heavily when the plane began to move. However, when I tried to hold her hand, she would always tell me to grow up and to stop being such a “scary cat.” Luckily, there was always a nice stewardess who would hold my hand until I was able to somewhat relax and bring me snacks. She would never admit it, but I think it helped Shanna to have an adult there with us until we felt comfortable. Plane rides that always seemed to last hours upon hours always ended with Grandma and Grandpa greeting us with hugs and kisses. Grandma and Mommy had the same exact smile. It was genuine, but just a bit forced. As was the case with Mommy, it was hard to tell if Grandma was truly happy or playing the role that was expected of her. Grandpa was the complete opposite. You always knew how he truly felt and most of the time it was grumpy! The ride home from the airport and pretty much anywhere else he drove was full of lots of yelling and cussing. Shanna and I would giggle in the back seat while Grandma nervously fidgeted and pumped her imaginary breaks from the passenger seat. However, she never would say a word to try and calm him down. Just like Mommy, Grandma did whatever possible to avoid confrontation. I imagined it was the same when Mommy was growing up. At one point, she was the one in the backseat right where I sat watching Grandma’s reactions to Grandpa’s antics and silently taking note.
    I loved Grandma and Grandpa’s house. Shanna had explained to me that it was a ranch home when I foolishly described it to a friend as a “one floor house.” It had a large front porch with a swing on one side and a hammock on the other. Each time I visited, I imagined myself