get here, I tell them that this is all your fault, âcause now that I think about it â it is.â
âIâve got an idea of how to slow them down,â Brendan said, âif Ruby is game.â
For the record I thought it was a dreadful idea. And it certainly made it so I can never return to the Real World. When the two cop cars screeched to a halt in the gravel road, Brendan and his mother stood in front of me frantically waving their hands. Three policemen and Special Agent Murano all got out â guns drawn.
âDonât shoot,â Brendan shouted. âHeâs got my daughter.â
What the cops saw was me holding a knife to little Rubyâs throat. Actually it was the nail file from Brendanâs Swiss army knife but hopefully none of the copsâ eyesight was good enough to notice that.
âStand back coppers,â I said in my best Jimmy Cagney voice, âor Iâll let the girl have it.â
That was Rubyâs cue to let loose what her father called one of her âmigraine screamsâ. Despite the name, I was unprepared for the ear bleeding, high-pitched volume of the screech. I almost dropped the knife and Iâm sure that every dog in a five-mile radius ran underneath a sofa.
âOw,â I said.
Brendan turned around and whispered, âTold you so.â
âTake it easy, OâNeil,â one of the policemen shouted.
âI donât want to talk to you. I want to talk to The Shrink.â
âOK, OâNeil, weâll get you a psychologist,â the cop replied. âItâs just going to take a little time.â
âI donât want to talk to a psychologist, I want to talk to THE SHRINK aka Agent Andy. Didnât you guys know? Thatâs what they call him at FBI central.â
âDonât hurt the girl, OâNeil,â Murano shouted.
Ruby let loose another one of her sonic screams that made us all tilt our head a bit until it was over. I was surprised that the lenses in her Ray-Bans didnât shatter.
âThis is your fault, Shrink,â I shouted. âI was a mild-mannered fantasist before you tied me to a chair and tortured me. You turned me into a child killer.â I gave Ruby a shake for effect and she bit my arm. It really hurt. I lowered the knife and I saw the cops levelling their guns.
Brendan stepped in front fast and said, âDonât shoot,â while I repositioned the nail file. I whispered to Ruby, âWhat you bite me for?â
She whispered, âIâm trying to make it look good.â
âWell, ow,â I said and then got back to work on the FBI man. âSo is attacking a shackled man in the FBI interrogation book?â
âI never â¦â
âDonât make me do it,â I shouted. âYou know what you did. You tortured me and wrote out a fake confession.â
I was stalling for time but I also wanted Murano to feel a little bit guilty about all this. Iâm sure in his mind he now felt exonerated about how he treated me. After all, I wasnât being very chivalrous â I had a knife to the throat of a young blind girl â but I hoped that someone would investigate his actions and get him busted to airport bathroom security.
âAlmost there,â Essa shouted.
âThank the gods,â I said.
âOâNeil,â Murano said, âwhat is the old woman doing?â
The familiar ring of an active portal reached my ears as Essa said, âWho you calling old?â
Mom, Dad and Nieve burst through the portal on horseback. Mom threw two of her Shadowmagic exploding light bombs at the two cops on the left and Dad and Nieve threw what looked like small knives at the other cop and the FBI man. The knives swerved directly into the chests of the cop and Agent Murano.
While Momâs victims were blown off their feet, the cop and the FBI man just looked at the knives sticking out of their chests and fell over