1967?
Pause .
BERNIE : I'm really not at liberty to talk about it.
Pause.
So what do you do?
DEBORAH : I'm an illustrator.
BERNIE : Commercial artist, huh?
DEBORAH : Yes.
BERNIE : Lots of money in that. I mean, that's a hell of a field for a girl.
DANNY : She's very good at it.
BERNIE : I don't doubt it for a second. I mean, look at her for chrissakes. You're a very attractive woman. Anybody ever tell you that? (Pause.) Huh? (Pause.) So okay, so what sign are you?
DEBORAH : Scorpio.
BERNIE : Scorpio, huh? . . . Scorpio . . . how about that.
DEBORAH : What sign are you?
BERNIE : Scorpio.
DEBORAH : How about that. Danny's a Scorpio.
BERNIE : You a Scorpio, Dan?
DANNY : Yes. (Pause.)
BERNIE : Well, I don't want to say it, but it's a small fucking world. (Pause.) So you guys are hitting it off, huh? The two of you, you're hitting it on/off?
DEBORAH : Well . . .
BERNIE : What the hell, it's early. (To DAN) You don't even know if she's a keeper yet, for chrissakes. You're young. What the hell. (To DEB ) How old are you?
DANNY : Bernie, you know you're not supposed to ask a woman her age.
BERNIE : Dan, Dan, these are modern times. What do you think this is, the past? Women are liberated. You got a right to be what age you are, and so do I, and so does Deborah. (To DEB ) Right?
DEBORAH : Oh, I suppose so.
BERNIE : So what are you? Eighteen . . . nineteen.
DEBORAH : Actually, I'm twenty-three.
BERNIE : Well, you don't look it. (Pause.) You know, you're a lucky guy, Dan. And I think you know what I'm talking about. You are one lucky guy. Yes sir,you are one fortunate son of a bitch. And I think I know what I'm talking about.
DAN and BERNARD are filing at the office.
BERNIE : One thing, and I want to tell you that if everybody thought of this, Dan, we could do away with income tax (hand me one of those 12-12's, will ya?), there would be no more war (thanks), and you and I could dwell in Earthly Paradise today. (Pause.)
DANNY : What?
BERNIE : Just this:
DANNY : Yeah?
BERNIE : That when she's on her back, her legs are in the air, she's coming like a choo-choo and she's screaming “don't stop” . . .
DANNY : Yeah?
BERNIE : I want you to remember . . .
DANNY : . . . yeah? . . .
BERNIE : That power . . . (Pause.) . . . that power means responsibility . (Pause.) Remember that.
DANNY : I will.
Pause .
BERNIE : Good.
Outside DEB and JOAN ‘s apartment , JOAN is leaving the apartment , DAN runs into her in the hall.
DANNY : Hi.
JOAN : Hello.
DANNY : I'm looking for Deborah.
JOAN : She's not here now.
DANNY : Oh. What is she, out?
JOAN : She's out.
DANNY : I'm supposed to meet her here.
JOAN : Well, she's not here now. (Pause.)
DANNY : Well, perhaps we could stand out here and tell each other funny stories until she got back. What do you think?
JOAN : Was she expecting you?
DANNY : I'm supposed to meet her here.
JOAN : You were supposed to meet her here when?
DANNY : Now.
JOAN : What time did she say?
DANNY : Around seven.
JOAN : Well, I'll tell her you stopped by.
DANNY : Wait. Wait. . . . what? Could I have a chair or something? I'll be glad to wait outside the door. Maybe if you just have a stool and a copy of Boy's Life or something I could read. (Pause.) Why are you being so hostile?
JOAN : I don't like your attitude. (Pause.)
DANNY : My name is Danny Shapiro.
JOAN : I know who you are.
DAN and BERNARD ‘ S office . They are filing .
DANNY : You ever do it in a plane?
BERNIE : Yup.
DANNY : Underwater?
BERNIE : Yup.
DANNY : You ever do it in a movie?
BERNIE : Yes I have, Dan. I believe I have, yes. (Pause.) You know what some of ‘em like? They like you to get a trifle off the beaten track, if you know what I mean. I had this one chick, she used to have me wrap her in a bicycle chain and lock her to the radiator before she'd let me do it.
DANNY : Yeah?
BERNIE : Spent five happy months with that broad before it got cold. A lot of them. They like you to get off the
Pause .
BERNIE : I'm really not at liberty to talk about it.
Pause.
So what do you do?
DEBORAH : I'm an illustrator.
BERNIE : Commercial artist, huh?
DEBORAH : Yes.
BERNIE : Lots of money in that. I mean, that's a hell of a field for a girl.
DANNY : She's very good at it.
BERNIE : I don't doubt it for a second. I mean, look at her for chrissakes. You're a very attractive woman. Anybody ever tell you that? (Pause.) Huh? (Pause.) So okay, so what sign are you?
DEBORAH : Scorpio.
BERNIE : Scorpio, huh? . . . Scorpio . . . how about that.
DEBORAH : What sign are you?
BERNIE : Scorpio.
DEBORAH : How about that. Danny's a Scorpio.
BERNIE : You a Scorpio, Dan?
DANNY : Yes. (Pause.)
BERNIE : Well, I don't want to say it, but it's a small fucking world. (Pause.) So you guys are hitting it off, huh? The two of you, you're hitting it on/off?
DEBORAH : Well . . .
BERNIE : What the hell, it's early. (To DAN) You don't even know if she's a keeper yet, for chrissakes. You're young. What the hell. (To DEB ) How old are you?
DANNY : Bernie, you know you're not supposed to ask a woman her age.
BERNIE : Dan, Dan, these are modern times. What do you think this is, the past? Women are liberated. You got a right to be what age you are, and so do I, and so does Deborah. (To DEB ) Right?
DEBORAH : Oh, I suppose so.
BERNIE : So what are you? Eighteen . . . nineteen.
DEBORAH : Actually, I'm twenty-three.
BERNIE : Well, you don't look it. (Pause.) You know, you're a lucky guy, Dan. And I think you know what I'm talking about. You are one lucky guy. Yes sir,you are one fortunate son of a bitch. And I think I know what I'm talking about.
DAN and BERNARD are filing at the office.
BERNIE : One thing, and I want to tell you that if everybody thought of this, Dan, we could do away with income tax (hand me one of those 12-12's, will ya?), there would be no more war (thanks), and you and I could dwell in Earthly Paradise today. (Pause.)
DANNY : What?
BERNIE : Just this:
DANNY : Yeah?
BERNIE : That when she's on her back, her legs are in the air, she's coming like a choo-choo and she's screaming “don't stop” . . .
DANNY : Yeah?
BERNIE : I want you to remember . . .
DANNY : . . . yeah? . . .
BERNIE : That power . . . (Pause.) . . . that power means responsibility . (Pause.) Remember that.
DANNY : I will.
Pause .
BERNIE : Good.
Outside DEB and JOAN ‘s apartment , JOAN is leaving the apartment , DAN runs into her in the hall.
DANNY : Hi.
JOAN : Hello.
DANNY : I'm looking for Deborah.
JOAN : She's not here now.
DANNY : Oh. What is she, out?
JOAN : She's out.
DANNY : I'm supposed to meet her here.
JOAN : Well, she's not here now. (Pause.)
DANNY : Well, perhaps we could stand out here and tell each other funny stories until she got back. What do you think?
JOAN : Was she expecting you?
DANNY : I'm supposed to meet her here.
JOAN : You were supposed to meet her here when?
DANNY : Now.
JOAN : What time did she say?
DANNY : Around seven.
JOAN : Well, I'll tell her you stopped by.
DANNY : Wait. Wait. . . . what? Could I have a chair or something? I'll be glad to wait outside the door. Maybe if you just have a stool and a copy of Boy's Life or something I could read. (Pause.) Why are you being so hostile?
JOAN : I don't like your attitude. (Pause.)
DANNY : My name is Danny Shapiro.
JOAN : I know who you are.
DAN and BERNARD ‘ S office . They are filing .
DANNY : You ever do it in a plane?
BERNIE : Yup.
DANNY : Underwater?
BERNIE : Yup.
DANNY : You ever do it in a movie?
BERNIE : Yes I have, Dan. I believe I have, yes. (Pause.) You know what some of ‘em like? They like you to get a trifle off the beaten track, if you know what I mean. I had this one chick, she used to have me wrap her in a bicycle chain and lock her to the radiator before she'd let me do it.
DANNY : Yeah?
BERNIE : Spent five happy months with that broad before it got cold. A lot of them. They like you to get off the
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