Selby's Shemozzle Read Free

smackeroos! A dollop of dough! A lovely mass of moolah!
Yippppeeeee!
I’m rich!’
    Selby started to throw the money up in theair, the way people do in movies, but then thought better of it.
    â€˜Well, it isn’t that much,’ he thought, thumbing through it. ‘I wonder who could have hidden it here? Oh well, finders keepers.’
    Selby lay on his mat that night wondering what to buy.
    â€˜I can’t think of anything I need,’ he thought. ‘A new bowl? A new mat? The Trifles give me everything I need. Hey! That’s it! I’ll give it to the Trifles. They’re always short of cash.’
    And so it was that Selby got the idea to secretly slip a little bit of money into the Trifles’ wallets every night when they were sleeping.
    â€˜I’ll stash the rest of the cash in that mess in the corner of Dr Trifle’s workroom. That would be the last place anyone would look for anything.’
    The wavy lines came and went away, leaving a slightly smiling guardian angel dog lying happily in the Trifles’ lounge room once again.
    â€˜Goodness me, look at the time!’ Mrs Trifle exclaimed. ‘Postie Paterson and Melanie Mildew are due at any minute to get some of my bread dough.’
    â€˜Everyone loves your new recipe. You ought to open a bakery,’ said Dr Trifle. ‘Did you just hear something?’
    â€˜Yes, there’s some sort of commotion in the street.’
    Mrs Trifle opened the curtains to see a huge group of police running down the street. Behind them were police cars and police vans and police helicopters were circling overhead.
    â€˜It’s some kind of raid!’ Dr Trifle exclaimed. ‘They must be after a gang of hardened criminals.’
    â€˜Uh-oh,’ Selby thought as the police turned into the Trifles’ driveway. ‘They must have the wrong address! This is scary!’
    â€˜Come out with your hands up, Mayor Trifle!’ the police captain yelled. ‘We’ve got the house surrounded! And don’t try any funny business.’
    Dr and Mrs Trifle looked at each other.
    â€˜What’ll we do?’ said Dr Trifle.
    â€˜We’d better do as they say,’ Mrs Trifle answered.
    Mrs Trifle opened the door and stepped out with her hands in the air. Dr Trifle followed closely behind.

    â€˜If it’s about that overdue library book,’ she said, ‘I can explain everything.’
    â€˜It’s not about overdue library books,’ the police captain said. ‘I think you know what it’s about — funny money.’
    â€˜Funny money?’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘What on earth do you mean?’
    â€˜You know perfectly well what I mean, Mayor Trifle. You’ve been caught passing party paper. You know — crazy cash, laughing lucre.’
    â€˜Crazy cash?’ Mrs Trifle said.
    â€˜Phoney money, Mrs Trifle. You made a big mistake when you spent a fake twenty-dollar note at the supermarket this morning.’
    â€˜Fake twenty?’ Mrs Trifle said.
    â€˜Fake twenty?’ Dr Trifle said, taking a twenty-dollar note out of his wallet and looking at it.
    â€˜Aha! There’s another one!’ cried the captain, grabbing it out of Dr Trifle’s hand. ‘So you’re in this together.’
    â€˜Gulp,’ thought Selby. ‘It’s from my stash! It’s all fake money! What have I done?’
    â€˜Surely you don’t think that
we
are making phoney money,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘Why, we’re completely honest! We’ve never done anything wrong in our lives. Well, except my wife keeping that library book a bit longer than she should have.’
    â€˜Don’t try that innocence nonsense with me, Dr Trifle. I know you people who forge money. I know how you live. I know how you think. You’re the sneakiest criminals in the world. You pretend to be nice people. You’re good to your neighbours. You’re polite. You give money to