Sea Air Read Free Page B

totally bored without me. And that’s why I should be able to go with her, because it’s much more fun like that. Oh, please, Momma, can I? Please!”
    Now I was the one left open-mouthed. My little girl wanted to go on vacation without me. I had always been proud of her independence. I was gradually starting to feel a little freer myself. But this wasn’t a gradual step. She had just passed a major milestone without any warning.
    Sandra tried to help. “I already suggested that you two go to Rügen with us, but your mom would like to go somewhere else.”
    “That’s okay. But I’d rather go with you guys.”
    I cringed. Don’t take it personally , I told myself. Of course Paula was right. It would be much more fun for her to go on vacation with a friend than to take a boring trip with just her mother. Still . . .
    “Listen, Nele.” Sandra hesitated. “You know, Paula’s suggestion really isn’t a bad idea.”
    What? Were they all plotting against me now? I pictured it all clearly: me, alone in my mid-thirties, having been abandoned by child and friends, sitting slumped on a park bench grumpily feeding the ducks, people laughing happily as they passed without a glance, each day exactly like the one before.
    “You would have time for yourself,” Sandra was saying. “You could sleep in, take long walks, read books.”
    I perked up instantly. What had Sandra just suggested? Sleep in, read novels, walk for pleasure? It felt like a hundred years since I’d done any of those things. Sandra was the smartest of all my friends, and she knew what I needed probably better than anyone. But did it have to be for two whole weeks? Maybe we could try a couple of days and see if I could get used to the idea.
    “But what if Paula gets homesick?”
    “Are you kidding?” my daughter cut in. “Momma, I’m not a baby! Homesick? I’m not a little kid anymore, you know. Come on, Anneke, let’s go back in the water.” The decision was already made, as far as she was concerned. I wondered if it was really fair to ask my friend to take my child on her family vacation.
    But Sandra was grinning broadly. “Looks like we’ve solved one more of the world’s problems!” She looked quite satisfied with herself.

T he time before vacation passed quickly, at least for me. But Paula got jumpier every day. Each night, she marked off one more square on the calendar. “How many more sleeps till vacation?” she kept asking. By six a.m. the day of her departure, she’d already packed most of her favorite toys in her little backpack: her tiny teddy, Paul; her stuffed dog, Plim; and her Hildegard-Sophie doll. She placed Knut the Moose in my hand. “So you won’t be sad without me,” she said with a critical eye, as if expecting me to break into tears at any moment. That, of course, would have been deeply embarrassing to her. But I thought I was pretty brave.
    At about nine, Anneke rang the doorbell. Everyone was in a good mood, and I didn’t want to kill the mood by making a big deal out of their departure, so I hugged Paula quickly and gave her cheek a kiss that she promptly wiped off with the back of her hand. As Paula and Anneke climbed into their seats, Sandra patted my back. “I’ll take good care of her, I promise. Have fun and take good care of yourself. I’ll call when we get there!” Christoph gave a few short beeps of the horn as they drove away, two beaming children waving wildly at the windows, and then I was alone.
    What now? I walked back into the house, clutching Knut to my chest. I wandered from room to room, wondering where to start. I would have liked to climb on my bed, kick my feet in the air, and yell, “I want my daughter back!” But a lack of audience made that kind of drama pointless. The kicking might be good exercise for my legs, but it wouldn’t help my gloomy heart one bit. I decided instead to cook up a batch of rice pudding: a cure that helped with all kinds of ills.
    After I’d finished two