Scarred Read Free Page B

hard to not be that person.
    “Can I help you , Suzannah?”
    “Well , Mary told me that your dad is going to have a party and I was wondering if you would be comfortable with me coming?”
    “Why wouldn’t I?” My question was legitimate. It had been four years. I was over her betrayal by now. In fact , I was glad that she hadn’t waited for me.
    “I’m sorry about Eddie.”
    “It doesn’t matter.” My jaw clenched as she mentioned his name.
    “Bryce, I hope you don’t blame me.” Her voice was serious now.
    “Look, Suzannah. I don’t mind if you come to the party, okay? But I have to go.”
    “Can I call you later?”
    “Yeah, sure, whatever.” I sighed and hung up. I rubbed my throbbing temples and sighed. It had been a mistake coming back to Jonesville. A huge mistake. I had never planned on it. When I left, I had sworn that I would never go back again. But I couldn’t stop myself. Not when the letters had stopped coming. I knew I had to come back to town and find out whom the sender of the letters had been. Who the girl of my dreams was. The one who seemed to understand what it was like to be lost and lonely on the inside when everyone thought you had it together on the outside. I had no name to go by as she had signed her letters simply as Miss and I had no street address as she had used a PO Box.
    My first mission was going to be trying to get the name of the person the PO Box belonged to and to take it from there. I had to know who the girl was who had made things bearable for me at war. Who the girl was who had crushed me when she had stopped writing. I’d sent exactly ten letters, that had gone unanswered, before I had given up. Part of me was scared that she had died, or that something bad had happened to her. I just wanted to make sure that she was okay.
    At least , that was what I had told myself. Part of me thought I was in love with her. Though I’d never seen her. She had seemed to understand me, the real me. It was if she wouldn’t judge me for anything. I had wanted to tell her what had happened all those years ago. With Eddie. And with Lexi Lord. I had thought she could do what the marines and war hadn’t been able to do; allow me the opportunity to move on with my life. Allow me to see that I could forgive myself.
    I had decided to come back to Jonesville because I needed to know who she was. I needed to know she was okay. I needed to look into her eyes and to thank her. And so , here I was, back in a town that was ready to welcome me back with open arms. I was treated like more of a hero than I was before I left.
    I was the Golden Boy incarnate. I could do no wrong. It was a weird feeling having everyone love me. Everyone wanting to be me. Everyone watching me with awe and admiration. I had the perfect life. That’s what they all thought. Bryce Evans, the golden child. But they didn’t know what really went on; what happened behind closed doors; what existed behind my big, blue eyes. They didn’t know that there existed in me a hate so strong that I was capable of doing very bad things.
    I looked at the clock on my dashboard and sighed. I had to go home now. I knew that my parents would be waiting for me. My loving mother was beyond ecstatic that I was home and in one piece. She lived for me and I had broken her heart when I had gone away. She had written me faithfully , every day. I knew that she lived for my responses just like she had lived for my games, and my report cards and my college acceptances. Sometimes I just wanted to shake her, to see if I could get through to her. I wanted to scream and shout and tell her to get a life. To tell her that I wasn’t worth it. That the pills weren’t worth it. That we all knew that the water she sipped all day was vodka. But she was my mother and so I didn’t.
    All my life people had envied me being the Mayor’s son. Not just because my dad was the mayor , but because he was charismatic, rich and funny and he captured people in his