Romance Read Free Page A

But.
{Pause)
But would you … yes, I know, I understand … But. As an “exercise.”
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: … we have so little …
    DEFENDANT: Please. As a, as, as a
hypothetical Instance.
Please. In which, all right. All right?
(Pause)
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: All right.
    DEFENDANT: In which the facts seemed to be.
Seemed
to be …
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: D O you know, and now, he calls a
recess.
And I'm never going to be able to get home …
    DEFENDANT: I …
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: … with the parade.
    DEFENDANT: The point.
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: The point. The point is not…
    DEFENDANT: … please …
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: May I finish: the point is not what you ad …
    DEFENDANT: … I understand.
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: What you
admit.
    DEFENDANT: I understand that.
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: But…
    DEFENDANT: … I underst…
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: But, please let me, what a reasonable person must infer from the facts.
    DEFENDANT: I understand that.
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: … if you understand, then I am baffled by…
    DEFENDANT: I'm asking, as a hypothetical instance.
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: I, I, I, I feel that I am being remiss in my duties.
    DEFENDANT: A hypothetical instance where …
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: We have so little time.
    DEFENDANT: If: if we postulate.
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: T O indulge in: Listen to me:
    DEFENDANT: I …
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: T O indulge in. Please, all right, I know, believe me, No, I
realize
that, to you, much of the proceedings must seem, they must seem to you
arbitrary
, and …
    (BAILIFF
enters with a newspaper)
    BAILIFF: Y OU fellas want lunch?
    DEFENDANT: If we posit a hypothetical instance where …
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Y OU were in Hawaii. November Tenth, of last year. B arrow, love heart, Hawaii, Laughing Rabbit. You were there. How in
the fuck are
you not going to have been there?
    DEFENDANT: By providing an alternative.
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: T O where you were?
    DEFENDANT: T O , to a way of “looking” at it.
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: All right, then, after the Mumbo Jumbo, what is the alternative?
    DEFENDANT: My understanding is, at that point, that is
your
job.
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: And my job is?
    DEFENDANT: T O , to frame an alternative … to present to the Judge …
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: A
Lie
… ?
(Pause) A LIE?
    BAILIFF: Anybody want to see the paper?
    DEFENDANT: Oh, Lord, Oh Lord, now I
am
in trouble … now I am, truly, truly fucked. Oh, God, oh, God … You don't want to
lie:
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: If you would let me do my job …
    DEFENDANT:
Why did you
go to
Law
School? If you don't want to
Lie}
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY:
(Pause)
I…
    BAILIFF:
(Looking at the paper)
Big doings at the peace conference …
    DEFENDANT: You're fired.
(Pause)
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: I fear you don't understand.
    DEFENDANT: You're fff…
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Can you suppose that another representation would be more to your taste?
    DEFENDANT: I don't know.
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Well, I
do
know. YOU'RE
GUILTY.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
    DEFENDANT: I AM NOT GUILTY UNTIL A DULY CONSTITUTED COURT …
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: What BULLSHIT. WHAT UTTER CRAP. YOU MAKE ME SICK. YOU MAKE ME ASHAMED. I'M FILLED WITH CONTEMPT, WITH,
FUCK
CONTEMPT, WITH LOATHING, AND YOU SIT UP THERE, GUILTY AS SIN, CRIMINAL, SICK, PERVERTED, AND I'M…
    DEFENDANT: … wait one moment…
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Trying, trying, somehow to …
    DEFENDANT: I'm paying you …
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: … a
pittance
, For what I go through? Forced to sit
next
to you, you SICK FUCK, day-after-day,
supporting
you; nodding at your infantile hypocrisies. This sick Talmudic, Jewish …
{Pause)
Ohmigod.
    DEFENDANT: Aha.
    DEFENSE ATTORNEY: I… I… I must,
most
humbly,
Most
humbly.
Beg.
Your forgiveness. My speech has run away with me, I… I was to take my son, my son Tommy. To the Church Youth Hockey game today, and it is. A
particularly
anxious time. As, as I am divorced, I see him seldom. And these outings, and the time we spend together. Are
precious
to us, and I am somewhat distraught. At the
probability
that I will be late,