Rebecca's Rules Read Free

way, she’s a natural at coming up with basslines and cool noises. If we ever get a bass player, she’ll be able to do even more. Even I’ve got better at the drums. It almost happened without my noticing it. I just kept bashing away and eventually I realised that I was able to play beats properly without actually thinking about it (of course, this means that as soon as I actually do think about what I’m doing, I instantly make a mistake. I think this shows that I am an instinctive natural musician).
    But even my beloved drums can’t cheer me up too much at the moment. The practice went pretty well today, and everything, but I still feel like a hollow shell of a girl. Since Paperboy left, I can’t seem to feel enthusiastic about anything. And I’m starting to think Cass and Alice might be a bit bored with hearing about Paperboy, which, to be honest, I think is quite selfish of them. I know I’d be sympathetic if either of themmet the love of her life and then he went off to the other side of the world after just three weeks. They don’t know what it’s like to suffer.
    Cass even said today that the last lyrics I wrote (for a song with the working title ‘The End of the World’) were ‘a bit too gloomy’. What does she know? She’s having a great time! She’s become great friends with Liz from Bad Monkey, the band we met at the Battle of the Bands, and they’re off together practically every weekend.
    In fact, I feel like I hardly see her any more. And Alice and I don’t walk to school these days because a few months ago − just after the Battle of the Bands, actually – her mum got a new job and her route to work doesn’t take her near my house now, so now she just drops Alice off near the school instead of near me. So I hardly see any of them. Well, apart from band practices. And actual school.
    But still. I feel like our friendship needs a bit of a, I dunno, a kick or something. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to talk to Cass and Alice about anything but how awful I feel. I know I want them to be sympathetic when I’m miserable, but I don’t want them to HAVE to be sympathetic, if you know what I mean. I’m not sure even I know what I mean. I just wish I could getthings back to the way they used to be, but it’s like I’ve got stuck in a rut or something. And I want to get out of it. But how?
    Still no mail from Paperboy, by the way.
LATER
    I have decided to start expressing my woe in poetry. It’s actually easier than writing song lyrics because it doesn’t have to rhyme. Here is this evening’s creation. I am quite proud of it.
    Boy of paper
    Paperboy
    Across the sea
    Why did you leave?
    Apart from the fact that your dad
    Got a job designing bridges?
    My life
    Now a shell
    I think it is very poignant. And ‘boy of paper’ is quite clever if I say so myself. I think I should write more. I used to writequite a lot of stories when I was little, but I’ve sort of got out of the habit. Maybe my broken heart really will fuel my creative powers?
LATER
    Can’t think of anything to write now. Hmmm. I think I will go and watch some telly instead.
MONDAY
    I now have proof that my heart is broken – Miss Kelly’s terrifying geography classes don’t even bother me anymore. She spent today’s class telling us that because of overpopulation the world won’t be able to produce enough food to feed everyone, and so in a few years we will all have to eat insects and creepy crawlies in order to survive.
    ‘They’re an excellent source of protein,’ she says. ‘You get more protein per gram from a locust than from a chicken. I’ve tried them myself in Latin America.’
    Everyone in the class was going ‘Ugh!’ and looking a bit unwell but of course that didn’t stop Miss Kelly. The morescared we are, the more enthusiastic she gets. After about ten minutes of her raving about how delicious certain sorts of worms were, Jessie McCabe had to run out because she thought she was going to be sick.