Rebecca's Rules Read Free Page B

she was the only one there and yet the lights were on in practically every room in the house! If we do all end up huddling around a fire without any electricity in a few years, it’ll be all her fault.
WEDNESDAY
    Vanessa Finn’s birthday party is on Saturday. And for some reason I am going to it. Even though, just a few months ago, I vowed (in front of lots of people, now I come to think of it, as well as in this diary) that there was no way I was ever going to her ridiculous extravaganza. I think I said I wouldn’t even go if she paid me (which was a genuine possibility).
    I can’t believe we all gave in to Vanessa. A month or so agowe were all coming out of school and Cass and Alice were talking about how unfair Mrs O’Reilly had been in history class that morning, and I was thinking about Paperboy and wondering whether I could persuade my parents to move to Vancouver, when we realised that there was a camera crew outside the gates. And before any of us could get away, Vanessa appeared and started handing out giant sparkly invitations to everyone in the class and smiling at us like we were all best friends. We were all so stunned we just took them, and then Vanessa paraded off and got into a big posh car that was waiting nearby, as if this was how she always travels home from school (which is rubbish because she walks, normally).
    As soon as she and her camera crew went off, everyone started talking about how mad she was and how there was no way any of us were going to her ridiculous party because she’s always made it clear how awful it is for her having to slum it with us in a state school. She acts like we’re all hardened criminals and she can’t put her bag down for five seconds in case one of us nicks it (I have no idea why she thinks like this, by the way. She lives in a big house, but it’s not, like, a castle. It’s in Glasnevin surrounded by people who also go to state schools). Why would we want to go to a party for someone like that?Also, none of us wanted to risk being caught on camera again by the ‘My Big Birthday Bash’ people, who would be filming it all for the reality show.
    And then, a few days later, we were sitting in the cloakroom, drinking hot chocolate which Emma’s big sister had kindly made for us with the sixth-year kettle, when Ellie said, ‘You know, Vanessa’s party could be kind of funny.’
    ‘Funny peculiar, you mean,’ said Cass.
    ‘No, think about it,’ said Ellie. ‘I mean, it’ll be completely mental. She’s going to have a tank and a pony and God knows what else. It might be … you know, fun.’
    ‘Ellie,’ I said. ‘This is Vanessa. Remember when my mum’s book came out and she pretended to be friends with me in a really creepy way because she thought it would impress the ‘My Big Birthday Bash’ people? She’s crazed. And then she wanted me and Cass and Alice to play at her party and had a tantrum when I fell off the stage because she thought it had spoiled her chances of getting on that awful show.’
    ‘She is pretty crazed,’ agreed Cass.
    ‘I know,’ said Ellie, ‘but that’s what could make the party funny. I mean, don’t you want to see what she looks like riding around in a tank? It’ll be hilarious!’
    Hmmm,’ said Cass. ‘Good point.’
    ‘But if we all turn up it’ll only encourage her!’ I said. ‘She’ll think it’s okay to carry on like that!’
    ‘To be honest, I don’t think she’ll even notice,’ said Ellie. ‘I mean, she thinks it’s okay anyway. I bet even if only three people turn up, it wouldn’t make any difference to her.’
    ‘She’s pretty good at ignoring reality,’ said Cass. ‘Remember when you kept trying to tell her you weren’t going to her party and she just acted like you were agreeing with her? And let’s not forget that she’s still convinced that all of us are from the slums because our parents are teachers and guards and stuff, instead of, I dunno, royalty.’
    ‘True,’ I said.
    ‘But