Random Read Free

that’s only because he called me. If he hadn’t, I’d have lost his number forever. It’s not like I had it memorized. I didn’t have anyone ’s number memorized. Mom and Dad didn’t even take me to the Apple store to try to download my contacts onto the flip before they took my iPhone. They just took it and came back later with this piece of crap.
    A contact number transfer probably wouldn’t have worked anyway; the technology is too dated on the flip phone. It would’ve been like teaching Neanderthals to drive a sporty coupe.
    â€œYou shouldn’t hang up on people like that,” Noah says after I open my phone back up.
    â€œWhy not?”
    â€œIt’s rude,” he says.
    â€œI’ve been called worse,” I say.
    â€œDon’t start that,” Noah says.
    â€œSorry,” I say, not bitchily this time. “Can’t much help it.”
    The next words that almost come out of my mouth are, Noah, I am so scared . But I don’t let them. It won’t help.
    â€œSo what’s your plan tomorrow?” Noah asks, trying very hard to make it a casual question when it is anything but.
    My stomach clenches from the inside out, like a series of fists doing a hand-over-hand on my softball bat.
    â€œTry not to pass out, I guess,” I say.
    â€œMan, I’m sorry, Tor,” Noah says, sympathizing instead of pushing me to divulge my plan for court like those reporters tonight. Like the rest of the world. They can wait a few more hours, all of them.
    Noah’s willingness to let me not talk specifics is one of the reasons I’m friends with him. He doesn’t go straight for the gossip, straight for the big scoop, like the girls on the team would have. Maybe it’s better they haven’t called, after all.
    â€œI know it’s probably a long shot, but is there anything I can do?” Noah asks.
    His voice is calm and gentle. I’ve never kissed Noah, but I would totally make out with his voice if that were possible. His voice and Lucas Mulcahy’s arms. Perfect.
    I yawn. Finally. I would’ve gone to bed an hour or two ago except I can’t get my mind to stop trampolining. Or, is that a word? Did I just make up a new word? Cool.
    â€œI don’t think so,” I say to Noah.
    â€œYou sure?”
    â€œYeah,” I say. “It’s late. I should go to bed.”
    â€œEarly day at school?” Noah says.
    It’s a bad joke. Very bad. I don’t even have to point it out.
    â€œSorry,” he says right away. “That was stupid. Didn’t mean it.”
    â€œIt’s okay,” I tell him. “I know. I get it.”
    â€œEveryone misses you.”
    â€œNo, not everyone.”
    â€œ I miss you.”
    â€œThanks,” I say, but I’m thinking of Lucas when I say it. Does he miss me? The one guy I really want to miss me, I’m not supposed to talk to anymore. I wonder what Lucas is doing tonight? Are those big hands wrapped around a pillow, or folded carelessly beneath his head as he sleeps, confident in his plea tomorrow? What about Marly and the others? Are they already asleep too? I wonder if Lucas is worried. I doubt it. I wonder if he’s worried about me . I doubt it.
    Then I wonder how expensive his lawyer is. I’ll bet he charges more than Mr. Halpern.
    Now I’ve bummed myself out. Again.
    â€œNoah?”
    â€œYo.”
    â€œWhat do you think I should plead?”
    I hear Noah blow out a breath, and imagine him rubbing his eyes with one hand as he says, “Jesus, Tori.”
    â€œI’m serious,” I say. “I mean, you knew him too. Why don’t you hate my guts?”
    It’s so quiet for so long, I imagine I can count each individual drop of rain on my awnings.
    â€œNoah?”
    â€œLook,” he says suddenly, “you’re right, you should get some sleep. It’s probably gonna be a tough day tomorrow, yeah?