Princess In Training Read Free

student housing, but I wasn’t very impressed. Michael’s room is very cinderblocky, with a view of an air shaft.
    Not that Michael even cares. All he was concerned about was whether it had enough data jacks. He didn’t even look in the bathroom to see if it had one of those smelly vinyl shower curtains or the even smellier rubber ones (I looked for him: rubber one. Ew.).
    Guys are so weird.
    I didn’t meet his roommate because he hadn’t moved in yet, but the sign on the door said his name was Doo Pak Sun. I hope Doo Pak turns out to be nice and not allergic to cat hair or anything. Because I plan on being in their room a LOT.
    Still, I felt bad for Lilly, on account of her not having a one true love and all, so I thought I’d try to cheer her up.
     
    FTLOUIE: But it must be nice to have the apartment all to yourself now. I mean, isn’t that what you always wanted? No Michael to drink all the Sunny D and eat all the Honey Nut Cheerios?
     
    WOMYNRULE: Whatever! Suddenly I have to do all MY chores AND Michael’s, too. And who do you think has to take care of Pavlov now?
     
    FTLOUIE: Like Michael’s not paying you.
     
    WOMYNRULE: Only twenty bucks a week. Hello, I worked it out, and that is only like a dollar a pooper-scooperful.
     
    FTLOUIE: TMI!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
    WOMYNRULE: Whatever. I suppose you LOVE scooping up after Fat Louie.
     
    FTLOUIE: Fat Louie’s poops are cute, just like he is. Same with Rocky’s.
     
    WOMYNRULE: Um, NOW who is giving TMI, baby-licker?
     
    FTLOUIE: I am choosing to ignore that. Hey, do you think the part in Dr. Gupta’s letter about not wearing shorts beneath your school skirt is because Lana always wore Josh’s lacrosse uniform shorts under her skirt last year? You know, to show that Josh was her property?
     
    WOMYNRULE: I don’t know and I don’t care. Listen, about tomorrow—
     
    FTLOUIE: What?
     
    WOMYNRULE: Never mind. Sleep tight.
     
    FTLOUIE: ??????????????
     
    WOMYNRULE: terminated
     
    Seriously. I can already tell that being a sophomore is not exactly going to be a picnic.
    Tuesday, September 8, Homeroom
    OH MY GOD.
    So I thought it was going to be so depressing to be back here. I mean, because school totally sucks anyway, but without Michael, it’s REALLY going to suck.
    And it WAS kind of sad to pull up in front of Lilly’s building this morning and not see Michael there waiting for me, his neck all pinkly shaved. Instead there was just Lilly, not wearing any makeup and with her hair in ten thousand barrettes and her glasses on instead of contacts. Because now that Lilly has lost her one true love to another, she barely bothers to Make an Effort. Grandmère would be APPALLED.
    And, hello, I have even less reason than Lilly does to look good, but at least I washed my hair this morning. I mean, I still have a boyfriend, he’s just going to another school. Lilly’s the one who has yet to meet the man of her dreams.
    Who is going to run from her the way people ran from Britney’s last album if she doesn’t at least TRY to look a little more attractive.
    But I didn’t mention this to her, because it’s not the kind of thing anyone wants to hear first thing in the morning.
    Besides, as Lilly put it, we both have PE first thing. Why shower BEFORE PE when you’re just going to have to shower again after?
    Which is a good point.
    Except that I think Lilly sort of regretted her decision not to bathe pre-PE when we stepped out of the limo in front of school and there was Tina Hakim Baba stepping out of HER limo. And Tina was all, “Oh, my God! It’s so good to see you guys!” tactfully not mentioning anything about Lilly’s glasses or hair, and we were hugging when this guy walked up and at first I was like, Whoa, hottie alert, because even though I’m taken, I’m not DEAD, you know, and he was so big and tall and blond and everything…
    …until he reached out and took Tina’s hand and I realized he was BORIS PELKOWSKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    BORIS PELKOWSKI GOT