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but I didn’t want it to
be over in a few seconds either.
    “I’m definitely interested
in where you’re going to take me,” I said.
    I felt myself getting hard,
harder than I’d ever been or thought possible. I saw the look in her eyes change
to something primitive, primal, and powerful, but beautiful in a way that was
unique to humans. I thought my ability was powerful, but nothing compared to the
bond between a man and a woman.
    “Except I’d like it to be
a voyage,” I said. “Not a crash.”
    Sandra threw her head back
and laughed.
    I made her laugh! A real one!
I knew she liked me, and it felt amazing.
    “They didn’t tell me you’d
be funny,” she said.
    “What did they tell you?”
I said, leaning in closer. “You’re really something.”
    She smiled and looked away,
then back. Our mouths were only a few inches apart. Her beautiful eyes entranced
me like no other thing. Just being in her presence was like nothing I’d ever experienced.
    “I want to know you,” I said.
“All about you. How often can you come see me?”
    “As often as they’ll allow
me.”
    I leaned in and kissed her
softly. It was as wonderful as I’d hoped, and the kissing got more intense. I gently
eased the side of her dress off her shoulder and exposed a full breast. I touched
it, and Sandra took down my zipper and then…how can I describe it?
    Paradise?
    That was close, but not close
enough. No word could possibly describe how she made me feel.

ENTRY 10
     
    I was deep into work, enthralled
really. I felt that whatever they wanted, they would get from me. I was midway through
my shift and had just got back from my lunch, when one of the supervisors asked
me if I wouldn’t mind training another employee. I’d never been asked to train anyone
before. I liked the idea, so I said I would.
    His name was Jerrol, and I
liked him right off. He was from Facility Two and had been sent to fill in for someone
who was transferred, and he had volunteered to take their place. All he did was
ask me questions, which got quite annoying. He wanted to know long I worked each
day, how much energy I produced, if I got tired in the middle of the day, was I
tired at the end of the day, could I put out more energy, and if I needed to could
I produce past the point of my work commitment. The questions seemed irrelevant
considering he was a coworker and we did the same job, but he just seemed like a
curious guy.
    “Why do you want to know so
much about me?”
    “The energy couplings at Facility
Two are a few decades behind the ones at this facility, and I need a brief refresher
on how it’s done.”
    “Fine with me,” I said. “Take
over.”
    I shut it down, and Jerrol
climbed the stairs above the engine bore, carefully avoiding the energy exhaust—even
though it was off, energy was still produced—and put his hands securely on the coupling
inputs.
    “When the couplings push,
you just push back.”
    “OK.”
    “Simple enough, right?”
    “I don’t feel anything.”
    “Well, no, you wouldn’t. Workstations
are unique to each worker.” I was surprised he didn’t know that. “How do they work
at Facility Two?”
    “Same as here pretty much.”
    “Doesn’t sound like it.”
    Jerrol looked nervous. Was he
only pretending to know what he was doing? That’s what it seemed like. Maybe he
didn’t want to admit that he wasn’t that good at his job, was still learning, or
just didn’t know how it was done altogether. I didn’t press anymore though. The
idea of training someone was interesting, but I liked the idea of having a friend
even more. I’ve never really had one, except for Sandra now, but before her I’ve
only had conversations with people who weren’t my friends.
    ***
    I wanted to be friends, but
over the next few days I realized Jerrol wasn’t interested in that. For him it seemed
like I was competition, as if we were both going for the same job or playing the
same sport—I read about sports—except we were on