ONE SMALL VICTORY Read Free

told the nurse who was
filling out the paperwork to just pick a funeral parlor, and have
them contact her. But she didn’t expect the call so soon.

    “First,” the man said, “let me offer my
sincere condolences for your loss.”

    Jenny assumed she was to insert some word of
thanks into his silence, but she’d rather scream. She clamped her
lips against the urge.

    “Unfortunately, we do need to take care of
some details.”Again he paused and Jenny knew she should say
something. Anything. But her mouth refused to obey. She heard him
clear his throat, then speak again. “I wondered when would be a
good time to come over and make arrangements.”

    “I don’t know.” Her throat was so tight she
could hardly push the words out.

    “Well,” Hobkins continued in that soft,
well-modulated tone. “There’s never a good time. Perhaps we could
try in, say, an hour?”

    “Fine.”

    Jenny replaced the receiver and stood
immobile. God. How am I going to do this?

    Carol walked in, one arm draped over a still
drowsy Alicia. Scott trailed behind.

    “It was a man from the funeral parlor,” Jenny
said in response to the question on her friend’s face.

    “Oh, Mommy!” Alicia broke from Carol’s side
and ran to her mother’s arms. Jenny held her tight, burying her
face in her daughter’s long hair that carried the sweet little-girl
smell of sleep.

    “It’s okay,” Jenny murmured. “We’re going to
get through this.”

    “Is he coming over?” Carol asked.

    Jenny looked over the top of Alicia’s head
and nodded. “In about an hour.”

    “Well, you, uh, go get yourself ready,” Carol
said. “I’ll fix something for the kids to eat.”

    Jenny released her daughter and wiped the
tears from the girl’s flushed cheeks. “You okay?”

    Alicia gave a slight nod, belying the sadness
brimming in her amber eyes. Such a unique color. In Jenny’s
estimation the only good thing that her ex-husband had left her.
That’s not true. He left you three children, and like it or not,
there’s a piece of him in each of them.

    Jenny gave Alicia a kiss. “You go on with
Aunt Carol. I’ll be out in a jiff.”

    Carol put her arm around the girl and reached
for Scott, but he pulled back from the contact. Jenny understood.
Touching might break the fragile wall of strength.

    In her room, Jenny was struck by the
absurdity of what she was doing. Choosing an outfit to meet with
the man who would bury her son. Does one dress up or down for an
occasion like this? Make-up? Jewelry?

    Sudden, manic laughter overtook her.

    “You’re crazy,” she told her ravaged
reflection in the mirror. “Fuckin’ certifiable.”

    Jenny’s laughter turned to tears as she
remembered yelling at Michael to watch his mouth the first time
he’d said that.

    It happened last fall, a month after his
eighteenth birthday, and Michael had been testing new waters. It
was like he was saying, ‘I’m an adult now. Let’s see how much I can
get away with.’ He’d told her about this goofy old man who yelled
and screamed about his pizza order getting screwed up. “He was the
one who was screwed up,” Michael had said. “He was crazy. Fuckin’
certifiable.”

    Jenny could still feel the hesitation before
Michael said the last two words, could still see the question in
his eyes. ‘Am I going to get away with this?’

    And she could still remember the immediate
regret at reacting too much like a mother, not realizing what it
meant for him.

    “Mom! I’m not a kid anymore,” Michael had
protested, the force of his words stopping her mother instinct long
enough to see that he was right.

    With another stab of agony, Jenny realized it
wasn’t just her child she’d lost last night. She’d lost his whole
future. There would be no daughter-in-law from him. Or
grandchildren.

    She sank to the edge of her bed, the pain
threatening to drag her into the dark abyss. Her blood pounded so
loud in her ears it took a minute to realize someone was