formerly entitled to be addressed as Lord James Fielding Carsdale or simplyââ his lips twisted in a self-deprecating smile ââYour Lordship, though I usually preferred to dispense with the title and the formality that came with it.â
The truth was that, back in his playboy days, he had grown used to moving around incognito simply as Mr. James Fieldingâthereby avoiding tiresome gold diggers and shaking off the trappings of his position in lifeâuntil someone, Pia, had gotten hurt by his charade and his dropping out of sight without a word.
He hadnât even been the heir apparent to his fatherâs ducal title until William, his older brother, had died in a tragic accident, Hawk thought with a twist of the gut. Instead, heâd been Lord James Carsdale, the devil-may-care gadabout younger son whoâd dodged the bullet that was the responsibilities of the dukedomâor so heâd thought.
It had taken three years of shouldering those very responsibilities to understand just how thoughtless, howcareless, he had been before, and how much damage he might have done. Especially to Pia. But she was wrong if she thought heâd avoid her. He was glad to see her againâglad to have a chance to make amends.
Piaâs face drew into a frown. âAre you suggesting that your behavior can somehow be excused because the name you gave me wasnât a total lie?â
Hawk gave an inward sigh. âNo, but I am trying, belatedly, to come clean, for what itâs worth.â
âWell, itâs worth nothing,â she informed him. âIâd actually forgotten all about you until this opportunity presented itself to confront you about your disappearing act.â
They were drawing curious stares from the kitchen staff and even some of the waiters, who were, however, too busy to linger and ogle the latest wedding spectacle.
âPia, can we take this conversation elsewhere?â Hawk pointedly glanced around them. âWeâre adding to the events of a day that only needs a little push to tip it over into melodrama.â
âBelieve me,â she retorted, âIâve been to enough weddings to know weâre nowhere near melodrama. Melodrama is the bride fainting at the altar. Melodrama is the groom flying to the honeymoon by himself. Melodrama is not the bridal consultant confronting her loutish one-night stand!â
Hawk said nothing. He was more concerned for her sake than his, anyway. And she was probably right. What was another scene in a day full of them? Besides, it was clear that Pia was very upset. The wedding disruption had to be troubling her more than she cared to admit, and then there was his presence.
Pia folded her arms and tapped her foot. âDo you run out on every woman the morning after?â
No, only on the one and only woman whoâd turned out to be a virginâher. Heâd been attracted to her heart-shaped face and compact but shapely body, and the next morning, heâd known he was in too deep.
Hawk wasnât proud of his behavior. But his former self seemed aeons removed from his present situation.
Though even now, he itched to get close to herâ¦to touch herâ¦
He pushed the thought aside. He reminded himself sternly of his course in life ever since heâd become the duke, and that destiny didnât involve messing up Piaâs life again. This time, he wanted to make up for what heâd done, for the gift heâd taken from her without realizingâ¦the one she hadnât bothered to warn him about in advance.
Hawk bent toward Pia. âYou want to talk about secrets?â he said in a low voice. âWhen had you been planning to tell me you were a virgin?â
Piaâs chest rose and fell with outrage. Under other circumstances, Hawk thought with the back of his mind, he might have been able to enjoy the show.
âSo Iâm somehow responsible for your vanishing act?â Pia