Off Kilter Read Free

flashed through the pictures, each one holding a sweet memory. He continued, quickly swiping the screen with his finger until he stopped at the one he was looking for. There she was. His beautiful wife, Amy. Her sparkling blue eyes and dazzling, seductive smile were right there, right in front of him. She was giggling. The sun lit up her face, as the gentle breeze, loaded with the warmth and fragrance of spring, tossed her soft, blond hair behind her shoulders. The red shorts showed off her tan legs. The white, peasant-girl blouse was tight in the right places and flowing at the end, with thin, white strings that laced up in the front, dangling in the wind. She was posing, cute and bubbly, legs crossed, leaning into the camera. She glowed.
    Collin recalled that day, that moment of sheer celebration, so long ago. The joy they felt, the closeness they shared, the love that bound them together. They were expecting their first child. She had just taken the test that morning. It was a Saturday, so they had taken a drive together through Sonoma County and found this out-of-the-way park. They had hiked a mile or two, holding hands, laughing, and talking about what their child would be like before stopping at the top of a knoll to take in the spectacular view of the rolling green hills and verdant wine country valleys. In her excitement over being with child, all the cares of the world had melted away and a newfound energy had taken over. She was flirty, romantic, and completely at peace, more so than he had seen since they were first married. How many times did she stop along the way to throw her arms around his neck, kiss him, and squeal with joy? He couldn’t count, but remembering those passionate kisses made him miss her badly.
    Amy had sat on that rock to soak up the golden rays of the sun. Collin had tried to sneak a quick, candid picture to capture the moment forever. She must’ve known what he was up to and struck the pose that was now the photo he pulled up most often when he felt her slipping away, when the distance between them became unbearable.
    The moment the flight attendant leaned over and nudged his shoulder, he realized he was drawing unwanted attention to himself. “Sir, are you OK? Can I get you something?” Her British accent was gentle and low, but laced with urgency.
    Collin found himself clutching the phone with both hands and holding it to his nose and lips, eyes shut tightly. With his elbows on his knees, he swayed forward and back in his seat. His breath was drawn through his pursed mouth and across his teeth in quick, short bursts, making a sharp hissing sound. He didn’t know how long he had been at it or at what point he had drifted away, but the moment he became aware of what he was doing, he was mortified and self-conscious. Heat welled up from his neck and engulfed his face, pushing out from his eye sockets, causing him to turn away from the concerned flight attendant. This was the kind of awkward situation he most wanted to avoid.
    The woman in the aisle seat reached across the empty space between them. She was a middle-aged woman with streaks of gray in her long, dark hair. Her hand was on Collin’s forearm, squeezing it gently.
    Collin cleared his throat and surveyed his surroundings, his eyes wide and darting. He shouldn’t have gone there. He shouldn’t have opened those photos and given his memories a chance to grab control. His safety and freedom depended on his ability to stay sharp.
    Against Lukas’s advice, he had loaded this digital family photo album onto his phone. This was his first indulgence in a very long time.
    “I’m fine, thank you,” he lied, shaking his head and wincing with embarrassment. “It’s just been a really long week.” His voice was thin and wispy. The two women were empathetic.
    The woman in the aisle seat peered at the picture on the phone, uninvited. “She’s downright beautiful, she is. Your girlfriend, I presume?” More of a Northern English