Never Glue Your Friends to Chairs Read Free Page B

Gus and Dewan playing swords again.
    “Drummers, settle down,” she said firmly.
    “My bobbles are staying on, Ms. Diz,” Maria reported.
    “And so are mine,” said Coco.
    Ms. Diz looked surprised. “Hmm,” shesaid. “That’s good news.”
    Just then Coco’s mom and dad arrived. “Smile, everyone!” said her mom. “We’re recording!”
    Coco’s dad was holding a silver camcorder.
    All the other moms and dads began to come in.
    They smiled and talked and waved and shook hands.
    While Ms. Diz was busy saying hello, Gus pointed his stick at Dewan. “I am Zorro!” he yelled.
    “I am Darth Vader!” cried Dewan.
    “Duel to the death!” Gus shouted.
    They were going to have a hard time sitting still for the bee song, I thought.
    And then I had another Super-Mega-Gonzo idea.
    Sometimes my brain amazes me.
    I went over to the drummer chairs.
    I looked around. Nobody was watching me. And Mom and Dad weren’t there yet.
    I pulled out the don’t-you-dare glue. And I put a few drops on each chair seat.
    I smiled a proud smile.
    The bee song would go perfectly.
    Ms. Diz would keep her job.

    And all because of me.
    “Roscoe! Hello, Pumpkin!” someone called.
    It was Mom.
    She was carrying her banana-avocado-raisin cream pie.
    It is not really okay for moms to call you “Pumpkin” in front of your classmates.
    But that’s all right. Sometimes parents forget to follow the rules too.
    My dad was right behind her.
    He was carrying Hazel.
    Hazel only goes to preschool half a day.
    Little kids have it so easy.
    “What’s on Roscoe’s head, Mommy?”
    Hazel asked.
    “These are my bee bobbles,” I said proudly.
    I wiggled my head. They stayed put.
    I am a genius, I thought.
    Ms. Diz clapped her hands and put a finger to her lips.
    “Parents, please find a seat. We have an exciting performance planned for you!”
    All the moms and dads sat down.
    They had to squish into our little bitty chairs.
    They looked pretty silly.

    I was glad no one tried to sit in the chairs I’d glued.
    “Places, everyone,” said Ms. Diz.
    The bees lined up.
    The bee drummers sat down.
    Right on the glue.
    All except Gus.
    “There’s something on my chair,” he complained.
    “Probably your own nose goo,” said Coco.

    “Gus,” said Ms. Diz. “Please sit down.”
    Gus sighed. He sat down with a plop.
    “As you may know, we’ve been studying insects these past few weeks,” Ms. Diz said.
    Suddenly Mr. Goosegarden appeared in the doorway.
    “Hello, parents!” he said. “I’m just passing through. Didn’t want to miss hearing my favorite beehive perform!”
    Mr. Goosegarden looked at all of us.
    One eyebrow went up.
    Just like my dad’s.
    I wonder if there’s a school where they learn that eyebrow move.
    Ms. Diz made a noise with her throat. Her face was a little pink.
    Or maybe green.
    I think that’s called stage fright.
    “As I was saying,” she said. “We’vebeen learning about insects. Especially bees. And now we have a song we’d like to perform for you.”
    Hazel made a buzzing sound.
    All the parents laughed.
    Everyone thinks she’s adorable.
    It’s disgusting.
    “All right, children,” said Ms. Diz. She made her voice a whisper. “We are going to do this just right this time!”
    She looked over at the drummers.
    Even Gus was sitting perfectly still.
    Not that he had a choice.
    “One, two, three!” said Ms. Diz.
    We all sang loud and clear. And pounded nice and steady.
    When we were done, the parents cheered and clapped.
    Someone even whistled.
    “Bravo!” a dad yelled.
    Coco’s mom wiped tears from her eyes.
    “Can we have cookies now?” asked Hazel.
    Ms. Diz looked very happy.
    And she wasn’t pink or green anymore.
    Mr. Goosegarden grinned. “Children, I knew you’d come through. That was just perfect. I must say that I loved the way you BEE-haved.”
    Everyone laughed at his bee joke.
    Because you have to laugh when it’s the principal.
    Mr. Goosegarden gave Ms. Diz a thumbs-up