Nanny Piggins and the Pursuit of Justice Read Free Page B

They had indeed been in the doughnut shop, but it was not their fault. There is something universal about wearing a blue uniform that makes a person crave deep fried, jam-filled cake.
    ‘All right, I’ve heard enough!’ shrieked Judge Birchmore. ‘I sentence you to 200 hours community service.’
    ‘I know maths isn’t my strong suit,’ said NannyPiggins, ‘but didn’t that figure just go up?’
    The children nodded.
    ‘But that’s unfair!’ protested Nanny Piggins. ‘All I did was walk across a hose pipe and eat a slice of cake. Since when is that a crime?’
    ‘Since I said it is!’ yelled Judge Birchmore, ‘and I’m adding contempt of court to your list of misdemeanours! So that’s 300 hours community service.’
    ‘I don’t have contempt for the court!’ declared Nanny Piggins. ‘I only have contempt for you!’
    Everyone in the room gasped.
    ‘You obviously have no idea how to bake a cake yourself,’ continued Nanny Piggins, ‘or you wouldn’t be so short and skinny.’
    Judge Birchmore was now shaking with rage. ‘That’s it!’ she declared. ‘I am giving you five thousand hours community service!’
    Now everyone in the courtroom gasped. Even the blushing police officers. They had actually quite enjoyed arresting Nanny Piggins. It was much more exciting than telling off shoplifters or giving out speeding tickets. They did not want to see her get in that much trouble.
    But the Judge’s decision was final. She slammed her gavel onto her desk.
    Fortunately for Nanny Piggins, Judge Birchmore immediately got up and turned to leave the room so she did not see Nanny Piggins lunge across the court in a last minute attempt to bite her scrawny shins, or that it took all three children, Boris and the bailiff to drag her out of the courtroom.

    ‘At least she didn’t send you to jail,’ said Samantha later that afternoon, as they all sat around their kitchen table feeling gloomy.
    ‘Hah!’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘A jail sentence is nothing! You’re forgetting I escaped from the circus. So it would take much more than a twelve-foot-high electrified cyclone fence and guards with machine guns to hold me.’
    ‘But what about the community service?’ said Michael. ‘Five thousand hours is a lot. Even if you worked ten hours a day it would still take you a year and a half. How will you find time to look after us?’
    ‘You don’t suppose there’s any chance the judge might just forget about it all?’ asked Nanny Piggins, looking a little worried.
    They all shook their heads sadly. Nanny Piggins looked depressed. But then she put a very largeslice of cake in her mouth, and you could almost see the chemical transformation it had on her body. She sat up straight, colour returned to her cheeks and a sparkle to her eye. She licked the icing off her trotters. ‘Piffle!’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘I’m sure it will all work out. These things always do. Terrible things are never as bad as you think they are going to be. Except for carrot cake. That is always atrocious. As long as they don’t expect me to eat carrot cake, I’m sure this community service will fly by.’
    The children were not so confident. They loved their nanny very much. But seeing sense was not her strong suit. So they suspected that the following months would not be easy at all.

Now this is the incredibly dangerous stage!’ whispered Nanny Piggins. ‘Is everyone wearing their protective gear?’
    The children nodded. They were all wearing cricket gloves and swimming goggles as they peered over Nanny Piggins’ shoulder and watched the brown liquid she was stirring start to bubble.
    ‘It doesn’t look very dangerous,’ said Michael dubiously.
    ‘That is exactly why it is so hazardous,’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘You think, because fudge is so wonderfully delicious, what harm could such a scrumptious treat do, don’t you?’
    The children nodded.
    ‘
    ‘That is exactly how fudge lures you into a false sense of security!’