My Name Is River Blue Read Free Page B

and if you ain't one of them, you don't get any respect. The
only exception I ever see is a black kid who can help the high school team win
football games. In his case, the bigots will tolerate him and even treat him
like a hero until he graduates from high school. If he's lucky, he'll get a
free ride to play college football, and if he's smart, he'll learn enough in
college so that he never has to come back to Harper Springs."
    "What about
Mexicans?" I asked.
    "Some whites
here hate black people, but they hate Mexicans more because they think most of
them are illegal. They don't want them taking up jobs or getting any government
money because they don't pay taxes. It don't matter really, because they hate
the Mexicans that were born here too. You don't hear many people in this town
calling them 'Mexican-Americans' even when they were born here with the same
rights as any other American."
    "I don't ever
feel white or Mexican. I just feel like me." Sean made me wonder, and I
had to ask. "Sean, do you hate me cause I'm part Mexican?"
    "You think
I'd let you sit on my lap if I hated you? Don't I help wash your hair in the
showers to keep the soap out of your eyes? Don't I let you sleep in my bed when
there's a thunderstorm? Don't I give you hugs when you have bad dreams?"
    "I thought
you had to take care of me, so you could see Sylvia."
    "Yeah, at
first, but now it just feels right to be your big bro. I don't mind it so much."
    "Even if I ain't
as good as you?"
    Sean grinned. "Even
when you're a pain in the butt, you're the only little bro I want."
    I wrapped my
arms around Sean's neck and hugged him. I liked him better when he wasn't yelling
at me and swatting my butt.
    "Thanks, Sean.
I'm glad you don't hate me."
    "River, none
of that shit matters to me, and it shouldn't matter to anyone, but that's how
things have always been around here. When I was your age, other kids made fun
of me just because I was a redheaded orphan. My teacher told me that in small
towns like ours that sometimes all you have to do is be different for people to
pick on you. She told me it was wrong and not to let it get me down when people
act stupid. She said if I studied hard in school and did the right things, one
day I could be someone they had to respect."
    After my talk
with Sean, I began to see the boys home and my life there in a different light.
The majority of the kids were white, as was most of the population of Bergeron
County. I noticed that the white kids had the best rooms, bigger portions of
desserts, first choice of any donated clothes, more help with schoolwork, and
the easiest chores. The African-American, Mexican-American, and mixed-race kids
received what was less desirable to the white boys.
    Even though many
of the white kids broke more house rules than the rest of us, the staff punished
them less often, and the punishment was less severe. If a white kid my age
broke the same rule as I did, Mr. Bonner would usually give him a time out in
his room, but for my punishment, he would spank me. His spankings didn't hurt
much physically, but they hurt me emotionally. While I was still bawling, he
would give me a time out in the recreation room. I would have to stand in a
corner and lean forward with only my nose pressing against the wall while the other
boys in the room laughed at me. I remember how my nose would go numb, and I had
to breathe through my mouth with snot running into it.
    Henry, a boy my
age, who was a mix of white and black, became my only friend in the home besides
Sean. To most of the boys, Henry and I were social zeros. Even the black kids
and Latino kids looked down on us for being half-white, a race that they grew
to despise because of the preferential treatment given the white boys by the
all-white staff. Henry and I had other marks against us. Everyone knew we were
foundlings and tagged us as bastards because they assumed that married couples would
not anonymously throw away their children like bags of garbage.
    The