we never have to find out."
"What about the crew?"
"They're like us."
"Like us?" asked Cole.
"Most of them have . . . histories." Forrice lowered his voice. "They're so bored or bitter that a third of them are on drugs at any given moment—and since it was authority that got them busted and sent to the Teddy R, they're resentful of just about every form of authority."
"That sounds like a lot of drugs. Where are they getting them?"
"I suppose a lot were smuggled onboard over the last two years," answered Forrice. "Also, on most ships people want to get out of the infirmary. On the Teddy R, they make a habit of breaking into it."
"So we're patrolling an area that nobody wants with a crew nobody wants in a ship nobody should want," said Cole. "There seems to be a certain mathematical purity to that."
"Optimist," said Forrice.
"Damn, I've missed you, Four Eyes!" said Cole. "Molarians may be the ugliest things God made, but you're the only race that thinks like we do."
"He created us after He'd gotten all His mistakes out of His system on Men."
"What other races have we got onboard? The captain mentioned a Polonoi."
"Yes, we've got a handful of Polonoi, plus a few Mollutei, some Bedalians, and we've even got a Tolobite."
"A Tolobite?" repeated Cole. "What the hell is it? I never heard of it."
"We didn't know they existed until fifty years ago. Wait'll you see it. It lives in symbiosis with a nonsentient little creature."
"I've seen symbiotes before," said Cole, unimpressed.
"Not like this one," Forrice assured him. "And we've got a Bdxeni, though of course we almost never see him."
"Every damned Republic ship's got a Bdxeni these days. They never sleep, so they make ideal pilots. I assume that's what our Bdxeni's doing?"
"Yes," answered Forrice. "They've got him wired into the navigational computer. I mean that literally—there are cables going from his head to the computer, or maybe it's the other way around. I don't know if he reads its mind or it reads his, but the ship goes wherever he wants it to go, so I guess it all works out."
"Tell me about the Captain," said Cole. "What's he like?"
"Mount Fuji?" said Forrice. "Very competent, very proper. And very unhappy."
"Unhappy?"
"Terminally depressed is a more accurate way of putting it."
"Why?" asked Cole. "He's still got a ship to command."
"He's lost three sons and a daughter in the war. And his youngest just enlisted last month."
"He told me he killed a bunch of officers. Can you tell me anything about it?"
"Just rumors. As far as I'm concerned, most officers probably deserve killing. Present company excepted, of course. Why are you smiling?"
"I know you guys think like humans," said Cole. "But I'm still impressed at how fast you pick up human speech patterns."
"What do you expect? Terran is the official language of the Republic. If we're going to serve with you, we have to learn the language."
"Everyone learns it, or at least uses a T-pack to translate. But only the Molarians seem to have appropriated it."
"Just clever, I guess," said Forrice.
The top of the table slid to a side, revealing their drinks. Cole picked his up and held it forward.
"Here's to a long, dull, peaceful tour of duty."
But of course, he was just an officer, not a prognosticator.
Forrice showed Cole the four armored shuttles that were bonded to the hull, then took him up to Security, where a small wiry woman was seated at a desk, studying a series of holographic screens that floated in The air just above it. The moment she saw them she uttered a low command and the screens vanished.
"Wilson Cole, meet Sharon Blacksmith," said Forrice. "Colonel Blacksmith is our Chief of Security."
"And I know who you are," she said, getting to her feet. "Your reputation precedes you, Commander Cole."
"Just Wilson will do," said Cole.
"Fine. And unless Mount Fuji or Podok are around, I'm Sharon."
"Colonel Blacksmith is atypical of the Teddy R in that she actually knows what she's