More Than Okay Read Free Page A

anyone what?” My worry was hitching up. “Were you a victim too, Jo?” I hadn’t been there during the trial, we’d been too young. Uncle Thomas hadn’t allowed it. Still, I think we all knew most of what had been going on in their home before it had been dragged to court.  
    “It’s years and years ago,” he whispered. “That son of a bitch had already set his eyes on Jørgen, but he was just too young. So I was the replacement for a while, until Jørgen grew up a bit. It’s not like— I mean, I do think about it, but it’s not like it’s hindering my life or anything. I feel so much worse about what happened to Jørgen. That’s what eating me up inside.”  
    I propped my elbow on the back of the couch and rested my cheek in my palm. “Can I ask you something without you taking offence?”  
    “Yeah.”  
    I swallowed. It was a question I’d asked myself before, but I had never dared ask him. I’d asked Dad once, before he’d killed himself, but he hadn’t answered me. “Why did you never tell anyone? Why did you wait until you were eighteen to go to the police?” Jo and I had always been close, yet at the same time we hadn’t, because we’d never really shared anything as personal as this with each other.  
    I hadn’t known about what had gone on in their home until Jo went to the police and all hell broke loose. Still, we’d always been in the same schools, and being relatives, we’d always talked together. We’d hung together during primary school, but grown apart once he’d started lower secondary school. We’d grown closer again when he’d started secondary, even though I’d still been in the lower secondary. Now here we were, suddenly talking about the subject I’d never dared go close to before.  
    “Because I was told from a very young age that if I ever mentioned anything to anyone, they’d kill him.” Jo sighed heavily. “It sounds so cliche, doesn’t it? But that’s what I was told. I was just a kid. Of course I believed it. As I grew older … I wasn’t sure if they meant it or not. They were both, my uncle and mum, crazy enough to actually hurt him like that. So I never dared. When he took matters into his own hands and tried to kill himself— I couldn’t watch it anymore. So I went to the police, because while he was in hospital, they couldn’t get to him.”  
    “Shit, Jo.” Of course I knew that he was the one to go to the police. I just hadn’t known the reason why.  
    His head turned towards me. “This got way to serious.” He ran a hand through his hair, messing it up further. “I have thought long and hard about my feelings for you, for years. I have to admit, I was freaked at first, but I’m used to it now. You are everything I want, and no matter what, no one else can measure up.”  
    That earned him a kiss. A long, tender kiss. “It always has been the two of us, hasn’t it? I’ve always felt this way for you. It’s never gone away, no matter how much I’ve tried to make it.” I’d been having sex since I was sixteen. Not because that was the time I was legally allowed to have sex, but because that was when my hero-worship of Jo had gone away and I’d met someone who was actually interested in me. Turned out we weren’t a good match, but at least we’d taken each other virginities and gained some experience out of it all. It had been nice, even if it hadn’t been metaphorically earth-shattering.  
    He sighed again. “Yeah.” I knew he’d been with women too. Many of them. It had used to bother me, but right now, being here with him, it didn’t. I was the one who had him now, and apparently I’d always had him. We’d just never admitted our feeling to each other
    “Should it be this easy?” I asked then. “Working through our feelings. I mean, being cousins and all, one would think it would be a lot harder to accept. I guess I’ve had years of accepting it though, considering how long I’ve been in love with you.”