May Contain Nuts

May Contain Nuts Read Free

Book: May Contain Nuts Read Free
Author: John O'Farrell
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helper looked a little annoyed by the interruption but I could hardly stand by and do nothing. Molly did know ‘Mum’. I mean, it was the first word she ever said; she just needed a bit of prompting, that’s all. Unfortunately I discovered that being at school with Molly didn’t stop me worrying about her. My daughter tortuously spelled out ‘good’ and ‘dog’ while the child I was sitting with seemed towhizz through her chosen book effortlessly: ‘It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of …’ Well, it felt like it at the time.
    â€˜Yes, all right, Bronwyn,’ I snapped, ‘that’s enough reading. Go and play in the home corner. Or the second-home corner in your case. Hello! I’m finished over here so would you like me to take over with Molly?’
    Five years later those other mothers and their husbands had become our best friends, and, like mine, their eldest children would soon be taking their entrance exams for big school. While our daughters were having extra tuition on Saturday mornings, we would meet up like this in my kitchen and debate the major issues of the day. How many secondary schools are you applying to? Is it true that you can only get in to Chelsea College if you can speak fluent Latin? ‘We looked at a lovely secondary school in Calais. The only downside is that Bronwyn would have to get up at 4.30 every morning to catch the Eurostar.’ The regular Saturday morning gathering also gave us a bit of quality time with our younger children, ones who were stimulated and encouraged as they learnt the basic skills of life: writing, drawing and identifying all the characters in Peter and the Wolf .
    â€˜Listen, everyone. This is the oboe now. Whose theme is the oboe, Alfie?’ continued David.
    â€˜The duck!’ he shouted and our friends murmured their appreciation.
    â€˜My Cameron likes to clap along to nursery rhymes,’ said Sarah bravely but nobody bothered to respond to that.
    â€˜Hang on, hang on, here it comes. This is the clarinet. Who does the clarinet represent, Alfie?’
    â€˜The cat!’
    â€˜Clever boy, Alfie! That’s one of the wind instruments, isn’t it? What other wind instruments are there?’
    â€˜The baboon!’
    â€˜Bassoon, that’s right! And who does the bassoon represent?’
    â€˜The grandfather!’
    â€˜He’s very musical, isn’t he,’ said Sarah, rather perceptively I thought.
    â€˜The grandfather is a baboon!’ Alfie repeated delightedly.
    â€˜That’s right, the grandfather is the bassoon,’ said David firmly.
    â€˜He is a clever boy, isn’t he? Have you had him professionally assessed?’ asked Ffion. I thought I’d already told her about how Alfie had scored at the institute but she must have forgotten.
    â€˜Er, yes, we got the report back a couple of weeks ago; the institute said he was “approaching gifted”,’ said David.
    â€˜â€œ Approaching gifted.” That’s wonderful news.’ Ffion smiled faintly.
    â€˜Well, it’s fine, yes, but I think they’ve underestimated him. Actually I think he’s just straightforward “gifted”. Ideally I’d like him to be aspiring to “exceptionally gifted”.’
    â€˜He’s only four years old, darling,’ I said, noticing that William was looking slightly incredulous.
    At that moment there was a panic as Sarah leapt across the room like a presidential bodyguard and snatched a biscuit from her child’s hand. ‘It’s OK, everyone – I’ve got it. He didn’t ingest any, he’s OK …’
    â€˜Sorry – is he not allowed biscuits, then?’
    Sarah read solemnly from the side of the packet. ‘“May contain nuts.” Yes, I thought so.’
    â€˜I didn’t know Cameron was allergic to

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