Master of Deception: Things aren't always what they seem Read Free

My life is beautiful on the outside but there's so much going on in the inside. When I first married Alexis I loved her very much but I didn't know if I really wanted to spend my life with her. But I figured if we got married and lived like a regular couple that eventually the bond would be sealed between us. That couldn't have been further from the truth.
    I wonder how crazy must I sound? I have the best wife in the world, but yet I'm empty inside and I don't know how to express my feelings. I don't know how I should deal with this situation or how much longer can we go on living a lie. Ronnie is the best thing to happen to me out of this relationship and I feel so guilty because her mother did absolutely nothing to me. But unfortunately my heart doesn't beat for her, the way hers beats for me.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Chapter 6
    Tristan & Jay
    The minute I walked into the gym Tristan was playing basketball already. So I got warmed up and hit the wood to show him up right quick. He had the moves and always played better than me, but I didn’t care he looked good playing. As soon as he made the shot, I went over and kissed him dead on his soft lips. He hated when I showed affection in public, but I couldn’t resist him. Well now you know, the cat is out of the bag. Tristan isn’t just my best friend…he’s my lover, and has been since we were teens. Our relationship started out pretty experimental and grew from there. I am also on the down low just like he is, but if he wanted to come out I would in an instant. I understand that he needs to remain low key because of his family and his career but true love is true love. And that is what he and I have and always will. Even though he is married to Alexis, and he loves her, he isn’t in love with her.
    He assures me of that almost every day. But with the pressures of society and his paranoia, he married her just for a front. And in the process he fell in love with Ronnie. He never had children and she is to him everything he ever wanted. She is his daughter… it never mattered to him if the blood wasn’t the same. She is another reason he continues to remain on the down low. He doesn’t want to hurt or destroy Ronnies outlook of him. I’ve explained to him a million times that we have got to stop living a lie. But does he listen to me? No.
    “Stop kissing me in public fruity booty” he laughingly said. He always called me that because he says, I’m sooo gay. But I tell him he isn’t gay enough.
    If I had my way I would jump on the first plane with him and we would go to another country. Get married and live happily ever after somewhere where people aren’t so homophobic and judgmental. I just want to live my life with the man that I love. However at the rate things are going we're gonna remain stuck here for a while. Living this constant lie, this has been going on for so many years and I'm tired. But at the same time, I love him dearly. I could never set him free because he forever has my heart. What am I supposed to do? My life is continuously on hold... he gets so jealous if I see anybody else. Yet he has a wife and at one time he had a side chick…yes honey, he doesn't think I know. But I do, I remember her well. I had to put a bug in that bitch ear and get rid of her ASAP. Either way I'm going to stick by him, I don't know what he’d do if I left him anyway. I'm all that he has on this side of the world, no one else knows his secret. And if I left him he would be destroyed, so because my heart cares I have to sacrifice and stay with the man that I truly love. He walks over and throws the ball to me. I miss it on purpose, just so I can grab him around his neck and kiss him deeply…he kisses me back and it's so beautiful. The magnetic chemistry between us is like fire. This wasn’t planned. We weren’t supposed to be this way, it just happened. My lover and friend, he touches something so deep within me that I could never let him go. One night after