Lovelace and Button (International Investigators) Inc. Read Free

Thursday afternoon. Just reminding you that we’ve got all the tickets ready for you and Ms. Lovelace. You’ll have to collect them by tomorrow afternoon or we’ll have to cancel them and you’ll lose your deposit. If you have any queries…”
    Minnie has no queries. She has a meeting to attend and hurries on towards the city’s Norman cathedral.
    Detective Chief Inspector Peter Bryan is making the rounds alone as his new wife powders her nose, with the help of her mother and three of her bridesmaids.
    â€œGawd knows what they’re doing in there,” he says to his father-in-law with a nod to the washroom.
    â€œTwenty-five years with her mother and I never worked it out,” mumbles Bliss before changing the subject. “Young Daphne here is taking a trip around the world with her friend, Minnie.”
    â€œWow! That’s amazing,” says Bryan with imprudent enthusiasm.
    â€œYes. First we’re taking the Orient Express across Europe; then we’re sailing the Aegean to Istanbul…”
    â€œThat sounds absolutely fabulous. I’d love to hear about it sometime, but —” starts Bryan, with a couple of hundred guests waiting to congratulate him, though he can’t escape so lightly.
    â€œâ€¦ then on to Cairo; we’ll be cruising up the Nile to the Pyramids…”
    â€œI really ought to —”
    â€œâ€¦ then there’s the safari in the Serengeti…”
    â€œGreat, but —”
    â€œâ€¦ the Seychelles…”
    â€œPeter,” cuts in Samantha, appearing from nowhere. “They’re calling us to start the buffet — oh. Hi, Daphne.”
    â€œHello, Samantha. I was just saying to your husband — oh! They’ve gone.”
    â€œNever mind, Daphne,” comforts Bliss. “She completely ignored me, and I’m her father.”
    Daphne shakes her head knowingly, laughing, “Children,” as if she’s had a lifetime’s experience.
    The wet-dog smell of Minnie’s saturated woollen overcoat mingles with the ecclesiastical mustiness of the ancient cathedral as she kneels and ponders what to say. Why did you let Dad die before I was old enough to know him? Where were you when Mum fell to pieces? Did you get a kick out of watching her shrivel into a lunatic? And how could you have let Alfred suffer the way he did? Did I ever miss a Christmas or Easter? “Believe,” they said. “Have faith,” they said. I believed; I had faith. Funeral after funeral, I stood with all the others, saying, “I know that my redeemer liveth.” Well, where were you when I needed you?
    â€œWhat choice have you left me? You’ve let me down,” Minnie says aloud, her voice rising in a crescendo of anger. “I hate you now.” She pauses and tries to rein in her feelings, but it’s too late and she runs down the aisle with tears streaming down her face as she turns to shout at the altar, “I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!”
    Ronnie Stapleton, forced out of the Copper Kettle by impecuniosity, is slouching past the cathedral in search of someone to scam for a fix, when the distraught old woman emerges into the rain. The young layabout sums up the situation in three strides and is already high on the proceeds of Minnie’s purse when a spoiler steps in.
    â€œAre you okay, ma’am?” asks a concerned young mother, sensing Minnie’s distress, and Stapleton is forced to back off.
    Minnie scurries away with a mumbled “Yes, I’ll be all right.” But the young woman puts Stapleton’s rapid retreat in context, and takes careful note of the hand-painted swastika on the back of his jacket as he slinks away.
    â€œRemind me to take Minnie a piece of wedding cake,” says Daphne as the happy couple cross hands and slice into the multilayered confection at the Berkeley. “She’ll be sorry she missed this.”
    â€œI