Lost In Rewind (Audio Fools #3) Read Free Page A

had no fucking choice. I’m a selfish piece of shit, and in a twisted way, I loved them both. I couldn’t hurt them—or me—and let either of them go. I’m lost without them— both of them.
    I sink into the couch, clutching the bottle of tequila like a newborn baby. I look at the bed on my left; it’s perfectly made and hasn’t been touched in years. It mocks me and my fantasy of a life with Sara. I look around at the place I’ve designed for Sara, knowing these walls have seen a sea of heartache at my orchestrating. I close my eyes in pain while I hide from everyone and myself inside an imaginary world I once shared with Sara. I’m inside the apartment that Sara sold two years ago after our children’s custody hearing; only I found out two days ago that it was Jacqueline who secretly bought it. My wife left me the key inside her letter and commanded me to be the man she married and go after and fight for what is rightfully mine. I was supposed to bring my family back together and set my life to music. But I lost them both and now all I hear is silence.
     

     
    “J eff, you up, buddy? Can you hear me?” Eddie’s voice filters in as he shakes me. Fuck. I hope we don’t have an exam today. Wait, crap, I didn’t study for any tests!
    I frantically jump out of bed as my old, worthless brain tries to clear through the alcoholic haze I’ve been drowning in for days. My mind slowly begins to comprehend that I’m not a poor, twenty-three-year-old law student oversleeping for some exam after a night of partying, but I’m a thirty-nine-year-old attorney who’s just lost everything and hiding out in what was once his secret portal.
    I’m almost one hundred percent sure that I’m not hallucinating, and that the person fixed before me is not a mirage but Eddie Klein, my former best friend . How did he find me? How did he get in? This man standing next to me, I would trust with my life, even knowing that he hates me for loving and ruining his little sister’s life. I hate me, too, so I can’t blame him for trying to protect the people he loves. I would protect Sara for the rest of my life if she’d let me. I never should’ve kept my feelings for his beautiful sister away from him. I should’ve told him from the start how I couldn’t stop thinking about her, that I cared and respected her, how I wouldn’t touch her until she was legal. I should’ve told him that at eighteen, she made the conscious decision to love me back. If he’d known about us, maybe he would do a better job at keeping her away from me? Maybe he would explain to Sara that I loved Jacqueline from the beginning of time and that she should find a good guy, someone who will only love her? Maybe, maybe, maybe, enough !
    I shake the worthless thoughts out of my mind. I loved Jacqueline, and it was my responsibility to make whatever life she had left good and happy. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. I didn’t intend to love them both and lead Sara on for all those years. I had no right promising his sister anything. My heart always belonged to Jacky first; she was my best friend. What we had to live through … I couldn’t let my best friend go through that alone. I never abandoned either of them; they were just different parts of me. And I became dependent on both of them to function. I just wish I hadn’t hurt everybody the way I did.
    Sometimes I wish I was never born; they’d all be better off without me.
    I just stare at Eddie as the memories of my youth flood my veins like fire torching what’s left of me. What I wouldn’t give to go back in time, and yet I’m almost certain nothing would change.
    “Hello again, Jeffery Rossi.”
    My stomach churns the second I hear that wretched British accent as I turn to meet his glare. The bastard who stole a piece of my heart; the boy who gave her everything I never could. Why is he fucking here? Is this one of my nightmares? As I take a shaky step toward the British fucker who ruined my