Lost In Rewind (Audio Fools #3) Read Free

congratulate her on their upcoming wedding. How could she agree to marry him? Does the universe think I need to be punished more? Losing my wife, my best friend, isn’t enough heartache, so it made sure I’ve lost Sara, too? We waited half our lives for this moment in time, and now, I wish I were the one being buried, and not Jacqueline.
    I can’t fucking be around her and see her in the same room as our kids and watch as they bury my best friend. I wasn’t supposed to lose them both. Doesn’t she know it wasn’t my plan for us to be apart for all those years? Didn’t she understand that I couldn’t leave Jacqueline? How was I suppose to leave a piece of my heart, the girl I couldn’t imagine living without, the girl I never dreamed could love me back and be my wife for as many years as she was? Jacqueline was supposed to leave me; me leaving her was never an option. My head knew what was right, and I’m lucky I got to have those years with her. And Sara had agreed, she understood, she’d promised to never stop loving me. I did everything I could to keep them both happy. I tried, God how I tried, but I couldn’t be in two places at once. I love nothing and no one like I love my family—Jacqueline, Sara, Juliet, and Jacob—they’re my whole fucking life. I couldn’t leave Jacqueline when she was sick, and I couldn’t choose Sara when she’d lost all hope.
    Most men can’t find one girl to love, and I somehow found two exquisite women who were my whole goddamn world. Now I’ve lost them both, and this worthless existence is finished, done, over, finito. I lost everything. How did I manage to fuck it all up for us? Timing, it’s all about timing. What if Sara wasn’t fifteen when we’d met? What if I never came back to see her on her birthday? What if I didn’t talk to that old fortuneteller that night? What if? What if? What if? The truth is, I wouldn’t change a thing. Loving them both didn’t feel wrong; it felt right. It was my purpose. Timing! It’s all about fucking timing. If I hadn’t left her alone that night in The Pierre hotel two years ago to go back home to Jacky, she and William wouldn’t have met. She would be in my arms right now and we would finally get our chance at happiness, and that old gypsy woman’s words would finally materialize. I would never be happy that Jacky is gone, but I know I did the best I could and loved her with all that I had until her last breath.
    I picture Sara’s lovely face, but then I remember the way she looked at him. Did she ever look at me that way? That night when I came back to the hotel to see her, I’d stood there like a stupid stranger, an intruder, watching them in their own world. I had no choice but to tell him about our kids, in the hopes of him leaving her alone. But the way she’d frantically called after him when he handed her back to me and left—did she ever fight for me like that? Ever since that day at The Pierre, I knew that my dreams of the promised future I’d always imagined would never come to be, and I’ve been dying a slow, painful death ever since.
    They don’t belong together. They have no right getting married. How I’ve dreamt to one day make her my wife for the world to see. I want a chance to make her smile like she did that night we first made love in New York. I want the whole fucking world to know how much I love her and our kids … and yet, I’d made sure to never show anybody how I felt about her— feel about her. I kept her tucked away like a precious jewel, afraid someone would take her away from me—someone like him. Sara doesn’t even care that we have kids together. She stopped waiting and never fought for us; she just effortlessly walked right into his fucking arms. She should be in my arms. I thought having children together would cement our lives and be enough to keep her from ever doubting how much I love her, but she needed more. It wasn’t fair to make her wait, but I couldn’t do a thing. I