do, didn’t I? Going by my Gran, I did. Surely, the authorities had been notified by now and a search was underway. It brought little comfort, knowing I could have floated for miles, possibly drifting outside any search area.
Ugh! This was the most fucked up my life had ever been. I’d much rather have been living with my ex-husband putting up with whatever he dished out to me than this.
Kyle’s dimpled smile morphed into my mind. My darling Kyle! Just thinking of him broke my heart into millions of tiny pieces. I should be back on the island with him. I should have stayed. Leaving was a choice that would haunt me forever.
I needed him now, to hold me and tell me that everything would be fine. I longed to smell his aftershave and feel his hairless chest against my cheeks. If I listened hard enough, I could almost hear the gentle rhythm of his beating heart.
He always managed to make me laugh or smile. He made me feel like the only woman on earth. At this point, it felt like that was the case.
What will happen to our love now? Does Kyle even know the plane crashed? He’ll be expecting my call from New York and will worry when he doesn’t receive it.
Lying half naked, just in my bra and shorts, my sandals having been torn off, battered and bruised, it almost felt comfortable and safe. I’d lain like this in my own home so many times, wondering how to survive another day, yet against all odds; I always had.
Westerly gales blustered in, pushing me further into oblivion.
My grip tightened around the sides of my raft, rocking and rolling as if in a giant washing machine. At that point, I put the life jacket back on in case the wind thrust me back into the water.
I let my mind slip back in time to when I was growing up in the suburbs of Australia.
Life had been so simple. My parents had done all the worrying and stressing about life’s problems. I had been free to play and laugh with my friends every afternoon. Peggy and Hannah lived around the corner and were always coming over to play at the stream at the back of our house. We’d spend hours trying to catch the little fish that cleverly eluded us, darting in and out of the rocks. Nearby in a tall river gum tree, Dad built a dream cubby house. It was high up and a long ladder was needed to reach it. It was my castle. My fortress. No one was allowed to enter without prior authorization. We three girls treated it like our own house, playing like grownups with the miniature tea set and plastic pots and pans. Oh, they had been precious times. I could still hear the sound of the running water forcing its way over the large rocks after a solid night’s rain. The smell of the earth when the sun came out to dry everything up. What had happened to that carefree girl and those carefree times?
***
Eventually, the sky lightened and the breeze died down. I’d failed sleep miserably, scared to let my guard down in this God-forsaken place. One rogue wave and it would all be over. The sun rose its weary head up and over the horizon, giving me a better glimpse at my new world. By some miracle, I’d hoped to see a hint of land in the distance but in every direction the sky met the sea. It was the most depressing sight I’d ever seen.
There was no sign of anything. I should have tried to stay near the crash site to give myself some chance of being found but I’d passed out without even realizing it.
The tears came cascading hard now as my chest heaved with each breath. The rescuers would find nothing but dead bodies and assume there had been no survivors. I was totally screwed.
The breathtaking sunrise failed to lighten my mood, bringing back memories of Kyle and me sitting on our cliff watching the sunset. Our special place that he’d told me to go to whenever I was feeling lonely or depressed. I’d never needed that place more than now.
Closing my raw, dry, exhausted eyes, my mind pictured the cliff face with the crashing waves below. The smell of the grass and
Ugh! This was the most fucked up my life had ever been. I’d much rather have been living with my ex-husband putting up with whatever he dished out to me than this.
Kyle’s dimpled smile morphed into my mind. My darling Kyle! Just thinking of him broke my heart into millions of tiny pieces. I should be back on the island with him. I should have stayed. Leaving was a choice that would haunt me forever.
I needed him now, to hold me and tell me that everything would be fine. I longed to smell his aftershave and feel his hairless chest against my cheeks. If I listened hard enough, I could almost hear the gentle rhythm of his beating heart.
He always managed to make me laugh or smile. He made me feel like the only woman on earth. At this point, it felt like that was the case.
What will happen to our love now? Does Kyle even know the plane crashed? He’ll be expecting my call from New York and will worry when he doesn’t receive it.
Lying half naked, just in my bra and shorts, my sandals having been torn off, battered and bruised, it almost felt comfortable and safe. I’d lain like this in my own home so many times, wondering how to survive another day, yet against all odds; I always had.
Westerly gales blustered in, pushing me further into oblivion.
My grip tightened around the sides of my raft, rocking and rolling as if in a giant washing machine. At that point, I put the life jacket back on in case the wind thrust me back into the water.
I let my mind slip back in time to when I was growing up in the suburbs of Australia.
Life had been so simple. My parents had done all the worrying and stressing about life’s problems. I had been free to play and laugh with my friends every afternoon. Peggy and Hannah lived around the corner and were always coming over to play at the stream at the back of our house. We’d spend hours trying to catch the little fish that cleverly eluded us, darting in and out of the rocks. Nearby in a tall river gum tree, Dad built a dream cubby house. It was high up and a long ladder was needed to reach it. It was my castle. My fortress. No one was allowed to enter without prior authorization. We three girls treated it like our own house, playing like grownups with the miniature tea set and plastic pots and pans. Oh, they had been precious times. I could still hear the sound of the running water forcing its way over the large rocks after a solid night’s rain. The smell of the earth when the sun came out to dry everything up. What had happened to that carefree girl and those carefree times?
***
Eventually, the sky lightened and the breeze died down. I’d failed sleep miserably, scared to let my guard down in this God-forsaken place. One rogue wave and it would all be over. The sun rose its weary head up and over the horizon, giving me a better glimpse at my new world. By some miracle, I’d hoped to see a hint of land in the distance but in every direction the sky met the sea. It was the most depressing sight I’d ever seen.
There was no sign of anything. I should have tried to stay near the crash site to give myself some chance of being found but I’d passed out without even realizing it.
The tears came cascading hard now as my chest heaved with each breath. The rescuers would find nothing but dead bodies and assume there had been no survivors. I was totally screwed.
The breathtaking sunrise failed to lighten my mood, bringing back memories of Kyle and me sitting on our cliff watching the sunset. Our special place that he’d told me to go to whenever I was feeling lonely or depressed. I’d never needed that place more than now.
Closing my raw, dry, exhausted eyes, my mind pictured the cliff face with the crashing waves below. The smell of the grass and
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