Losing Me Finding You Read Free

coming out of my mouth.
    Ben smiles. “Well, if you do, then I’ll just find you, Evie,” he says as though it really is that simple.
    Will you?
    Ben’s still staring at me and I’m not sure if my words have scared him like they’re scaring me. “What’s going on, Evie?” he eventually asks, his brow scrunching. “Is this all to get your real birthday present now instead of tomorrow?”
    I blink. Yes, no, I don’t know. I lick my lips, which are freezing cold and probably turning blue. Ben’s eyes widen and I find myself nodding. The whispered, “Yes,” that I don’t even realise I’m saying.
    The word hangs between us for a second, then Ben smiles, takes another step closer and says, “Okay then,” before he leans in and softly kisses me.
    And suddenly, everything else just disappears.

29th February 1984
    Eight years old

    The sun shines into my room and today I turn eight years old.

    My eyes snap open with an urgency I don’t understand. I sit bolt upright in bed¸ quickly scanning the room before I turn and look out the window. This doesn’t feel right. This isn’t where I fell asleep last night.
    Is it?
    “Evie, honey. It’s time to get up,” comes a voice I don’t recognise through the half open door.
    I turn towards it, to the footsteps I now hear heading towards me, loud taps on wooden floors. A woman walks into my room, smiling at me as she goes to open the blinds, only to find they are already open. Shaking her head as if she’s confused, she turns and leans in to kiss my cheek. I don’t move. Something about this feels strange, different, but I’m not quite sure how.
    “Come on, sweetie, you’ll be late for school,” she says, holding my dressing gown out to me now.
    “Who are you?” The words are out of my mouth without me even realising, even though a part of me knows exactly who she is.
    The woman laughs, before sitting down on the edge of the bed. She brushes the hair from my face and then takes my hand in both of hers. “Evie, what kind of question is that, sweetie. I’m your mum, who else would I be?”
    I shrug, not really understanding why I even asked that question. I knew that’s what the answer would be.
    “Are you feeling alright?” she asks and I can see the concern on her face as she places a hand on my forehead, checking my temperature.
    Even though I’m not really sure what’s going on here, strangely enough, I’m not actually scared. Something feels like it’s missing, but at the same time, it also feels okay, like this is where I’m meant to be.
    “Evie?” this woman asks.
    “Yeah,” I eventually answer. “I’m okay…Mum.”
    She smiles at me now before pressing a kiss to my forehead. “Well happy birthday, sweetie, are you going to come down and have breakfast? I’ve made your favourite.”
    I smile at her, wondering if my favourite is what I think it is. “Sure,” I say. “I’ll be right down.”
    Mum tilts her head at me, studying me as though she’s the one who’s walked into the wrong room and found the wrong daughter. “Are you sure you’re alright, Evie?”
    I nod, smiling wider now as I try and convince her I am, even though I have no idea why this all feels so strange and unfamiliar. “Yep, I’m sure.”
    “Okay, well happy birthday, sweetheart,” she says, standing. “Hurry downstairs, you’ve got school today.”
    I nod and Mum finally leaves my bedroom. As soon as she’s gone, I leap out of bed and walk to the mirror that hangs over the dresser. As I stare at the face looking back at me, I realise I look like me. Well, how I think I look anyway.
    Leaning in, I can see that my eyes seem slightly different though. Last night I’m sure they were a deep, dark brown, but today, they’re flecked with green. I like it though. The rest of me, my black hair, my freckles, my pale skin, it all looks the same. Well, when I turn around, I notice my hair seems longer, a lot longer actually, but I like that too.
    “Evie, come