killed their relationshipâGrant was a comforting presence at times of crisis.
âThat was a stunner,â his rich, calm voice said.
âYes, it was.â
âAnd your first thought was: I should have known.â
âYes, it was. You know me so well. Not put into words, but . . . Why on earth didnât she tell me? Just an off-the-cuff remark. âI tried it once, but it wasnât for meââthat sort of thing.â
âPerhaps she looked back on it with distaste, even shame.â
âMy mother was never one for shameânot for wallowing in it, anyway. Pick up your luggage, learn from your mistake and pass onâthat was more her line.â
âBut if she was pressured into itâthe sexâand found it unpleasant?â
âPressured? My mother? Anyway, I didnât get the impression from the letter that anything like that happened.It was more that she was pressured away from her natural bent.â
âWell, that may be your interpretation, but it wouldnât be how Jean viewed it, would it? If the affair was one of the emotional high spots of her life? She wouldnât want to acknowledge that your mother had had to be pressured.â
âItâs so difficult at this distance of time. And Mother never having touched on the subject so far as I can remember.â
There was silence at the other end.
âEve, Iâm not sure this is getting us anywhere.â
âNo, itâs not. But what should I do, Grant?â
âYou know what I think of your questions like that.â
âThat theyâre preparatory to my doing exactly what Iâve already decided to do.â
âPrecisely!â
âBut in this case I havenât decided anything. I just donât know what to do.â
âMaybe. Still, I donât think youâll like what I would recommend. That is that you do precisely nothing.â
âI thought it would be that.â
âAfter all, why should you do anything? Your dead mother had a lesbian affair in the past. So what? She never told you. Tough, but that was her decision, one she had a right to make. So why canât you just move on?â
Eve thought.
âBut what about the reference to my father?â
âWas that John? I donât think I ever heard his name. You didnât talk about him.â
âYes, his name was John McNabb. I never knew him. Mother didnât talk about him.â
âYou never asked her?â
âI expect I did. But not very urgently, obviously. You blame me for that, donât you?â
âYou know psychiatrists donât much go in for blame. But it does surprise me.â
âMother was obviously all I wanted, and I didnât need to imagine a benevolent, wise, lost father.â
Eve was silent for a moment before asking her next question.
âDid you get the feeling that the pair of them, Jean and May, had done or tried to do something serious, something perhaps to stymie John and his claims on my mother?â
âTo tell you the truth, I didnât think much at all about that sentence. Probably I would have if Iâd known your fatherâs name . . . Yes, maybe youâre right. What do you know about your father? All youâve told me is that he is dead.â
âYesâhe died when I was about three or four.â
âAny memories of him in the house?â
âHardly anything, and I donât remember anything that was there earlier on but is now gone. That I do find odd. Mother was not sentimental, but she wasnât ruthless either. Clearing him away like that seems out of character.â
âYou actually remember asking her about him?â
âYes, occasionally. Once I remember asking about him and I was shown a photograph. That obviously satisfied me at the time. Maybe her coldness on the subject was her way of shutting me up.â
âSeems to me there must be things